The Kids Love It, Teenagers Love It, Older People Love It..!

Think of a song with chime bells, yodelling, accordions and a dance routine.

Stumped?

Go to the Atomik Harmonik website here and then click on the link on the left under videospot for "Na Seniku". And when you've done that just take a look at "Turbo Polka" aswell. Apparently the song the Harmoniks (because that's what we're calling them from now on...) are entering into the Slovene National Final, "Polka Holik", is "some kind of an upgrade of their greatest hits". The Schlagerboys know this as we have received exclusive information direct from the Harmoniks themselves. Well, their record company anyway. But we're sure the group were in the room when the e-mail was sent through.

Another gem of information is that Atomik Harmonik are "four young people (Spela, Spelca, Jani and Frai Toni) who gathered together because of their joy for music. Frai Toni simply loves the accordion and plays it for many years so they somehow got together and decided to form a group". This is just what the Schlagerboys need to hear. The Harmoniks are all proper friends just like Bucks Fizz before Cheryl started to resent Jay for hogging the camera.

But there has been controversy in the Harmonik camp....

"...the German magazine Coupe shot some hot pictures of Spela and Spelca. Those photos raised quite alot of dust in Slovenia but the readers and fans soon realised that the pictures were erotic, but not explicit and 'on the level'" The Schlagerboys say, 'Oh! That's all right then!'

The most exciting thing for us is the fact that, over the years, we have become accustomed to all our favourite songs coming second in the Slovene finals. But the Harmoniks appear to be huge in Slovenia. Their first album was called "Brizgaaaaaj!" and was released in November 2004. Apparently it "sold like honey" and the record company reliably inform us that "probably every family in Slovenia has an issue of the album. The kids love it, the teenagers love it, the older people love it". This very same album stayed at number one for 15 weeks. Oh my god... they are going to win!

The Schlagerboys will shortly be moving to Slovenia.... We're looking forward to running around milking cows in comedy milk maid outfits like Spela and Spelca.....

You Were Fabulous Darling....

The Schlagerboys have a little bit of fondness for Uncle Ralph Siegel and many of our favourite Eurovision moments have been provided by him throughout the years. He gave us "I Can't Live Without Music" and "Let's Get Happy" so we can forgive him "Le Papa Pingouin", although, having said that, the image of a man old enough to know better romping about the stage in a giant penguin outfit is clearly something we should thank Ralph for. After all, what would the BBC play on their clip shows each year?

Although many fans appear to be nashing their teeth that he is returning as the songwriter of the 2006 Swiss entry we can't wait to hear it. It is allegedly an ode to world peace and bringing everyone together, arm-in-arm, through song. No doubt there will be something in there about walls coming down, even if it is 17 years too late.

Uncle Ralph has even put together a multi-national singing group to hoover up the televotes from around Europe. There is one Swiss girl in there, but seeing as Switzerland can't vote for itself he's chucked in a funny looking bloke from Malta, a young girl from Israel, a chat show hostess from Bosnia, a chap who can't seem to make up his mind whether he is Portuguese or German (well that's an extra set of votes so long as he doesn't make up his mind before May) and someone rather familiar from Sweden.

Yes, Sweden will be voting for Switzerland next year because on of the singers in the group Six4One (how fabulously cheesy is that? Only Eurovision could come up with that! It's all about six countries coming together as one, or maybe it's about one Europe, or maybe even Uncle Ralph's dreams of first place... Who knows?) is none other that Andreas Lundstedt from Alcazar.

The Schlagerboys take a sharp intake of breath.

Everyone knew this was coming since Annikafiore (Mi Amore) didn't show up to Stockholm Pride because of an "alleged" broken ankle. The Schlagerboys are sure it was because of the, ahem, new direction that Alcazar were taking and performing with real musicians playing real instruments on stage. What happened to the pretend DJ who would come on and join in with the dance routines? The three remaing Alcazars even started playing air guitar half way through. Oh. My. God.

Anyway it appears that Alcazar really are now "taking a break". They only managed two albums and a greatest hits. The Schlagerboys are in mourning.

Still at least it seems that Magnus may be a wildcard in the Swedish Melodifestival and he does say on the official Alcazar website that "you can't take the disco out of me completely". We wonder if that's what he said to Andreas when they split up?

The Schlagerboys would like to remember Alcazar like this:



....looking fabulous!

Ms PH Presents MF

Today SVT announced that Lena Philipsson will be presenting all the Melodifestival semi-finals and the final itself. Lena is a huge star in Sweden and the Schlagerboys love her for being a true pop star. The Swedes call her Lena PH. The Schlagerboys aren't sure if this should be pronounced like you're saying the letters or else like you're blowing a huge raspberry. We're hoping it's the latter.

Ms Philipsson overshadowed everybody else in last year's Melodifestival by performing a medley of all her schlager-hits as an interval act wearing huge hair, pink tights and great big clumpy heels. She proceeded to strut right through the first few rows of the audience halfway through her performance. Frankly how she didn't come a cropper on the all the cables while teetering in her stack heels is anyone's guess.

She represented Sweden in Istanbul in 2004 and who can forget her performance with the microphone stand. She'd clearly been taking lessons from the ladies at Spearmint Rhino (not that the Schlagerboys know what goes on in places like that). She was also one of the favourites to win that year and on the plane home was clearly rather upset. The Schlagerboys were on the same flight as everyone appeared to be changing planes in Germany. Ms Philipsson arrived just before the flight boarded wearing a huge white coat and enormous don't-talk-to-me popstar sunglasses. We expected her to be taking her seat in Business Class but she sashayed into Economy. Quite what you'd say to Lena Philipsson if she sat next to you on a 2 hour flight is a mystery. Mind you she didn't look like she was in a talkative mood.

Now if only someone could convince Lena and Shirley to do a double act it would just be a perfect Melodifestivalen!!

Schlager Queens out of Retirement for Sweden

The list of finalists for Sweden's Melodifestival was unveiled a couple of weeks ago. In schlager terms Melodifestival is just aboout as good as it gets (although the Slovenian final is looking ever more promising).

Exciting artists appearing this year include (in order of "Oh my God its her!" excitable-ness)



1. Kikki Danielson - appeared in Eurovision '82 and '85. Bounced on stage at last years 'Schlager Pride' in Stockholm, and more importantly danced with all the gays and lapped up all the attention at the post-pride party later on.

Best moment - Coming second to former band mate in Bobbysocks, in 1985.

2. Carola - appeared at Eurovision '83, won in '91. The schlagerboys jumped on her at the 'Congratulations' event in Copenhagen last October, and were impressed with the way in which she dealt with us asking for a photo, which was basically no verbal communication, a slight nod, arms around both our shoulders, gorgeouos smile for the camera for about 3 seconds and then another acknowledging nod before turning to the next gay boy slavering over a former Eurovision winner. Who needs a conversation? Carola can usually be relied upon to belt out a verse/ chorus/ verse/ chorus/ key change/ chorus anthem. Unless its a ballad. And 'Invincible' is a fabulous name for a Eurovision entry. Being incredibly popular in Sweden, at this point it looks like the whole thing is hers to lose.

Best moment- losing to that god-awful "Som En Vind" in 1990. We like girls to lose and then come back and win. (Take note, Shirley)

3. Jessica Andersonn - her of Fame, '03.
Although we didn't like it at the time, 'Give me your love' has turned in to one of those schlager classics you just have to jump around to. And there's a great moment on the key change where they both turn to the left for camera four to sweep in for a close up. Dance moves are usually restricted to left leg twitching, but she does do a great wind-swept Frida-esque sing-in-to-the-camera lens verse. We never cared about the boy in Fame anyway.

Best moment - the key change in "Give me your love".

4. Linda Bengtzing - did quite badly in last years Melodifestival final.
Linda is quite new to the Melodifestival game, but her debut song for 2005 ("Alla Flickor")was a fabulous disco romp with great chorus and 'ha ha fooled you' key change which came about 20 seconds before the end of the song, just when you thought she'd forgotten to put one in. Mind you, whenever we heard Linda sing this song live, she chose to to either a) sing the key change an octave lower, or b) just sort of ignore it and go up a bit, missing the high note altogether. This will not do at all. We hope she's been practising over the last 6 months. Linda's follow up single sounded exactly like "Alla Flickor" which was a good thing. We have high hopes for this one.

Best moment - the (recorded) key change in Alla Flickor

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Joining the (Polka) Dots in Slovenia

The Schlagerboys are busy getting excited about the upcoming Eurovision season and the announcements from various national television stations are coming thick and fast.

One of our favourite countries has always been Slovenia. They have produced many wonderful songs (most of which have failed to get to the Eurovision stage). The Schlagerboys loyalties were split when, in 2002, the glitttery trolley dollies, Sestre, beat Karmen Stavec's discotastic "Se in Se". Mind you we weren't as bothered as Ms Stavec herself, who proceeded to flounce out of RTVSlo's TV studio in a diva strop vowing never to try again. She was back the following year in fabulous pink pedal pushers though to sing "Na Na Na". It was never quite clear in the song as to why her chap was saying Na Na Na to her. Maybe he was looking forward to her very nearly last place in Riga.

Controversy seems to follow the Slovenian final. The Schlagerboys' favourite from 2004 (and indeed the Slovenian televoting public's favourite that year) Natalija Verboten failed to make it to the final play off because the professional jury gave Ms Verboten no points. The eventual Slovenian entry, the duo Platin, took their prize to much booing from the Ljubljana audience. Natalija's "Cry On My Shoulder" would have done much better in Istanbul with it's dance beat, police sirens and the final shot of Ms Verboten puckering up as she air kisses the camera.

Even 2005 was mired in controversy as the winner from the first round of televoting (and again the Schlagerboys' favourite - we seem to be keeping up a trend) ended up third. Rebecca Dremelj's "Pojdi Ze Menoj" has become a standard at Schlagerboy parties. Omar Naber's "Stop" (2005's actual Slovene entry) hasn't - although he was quite cute. But that doesn't forgive the gratuitous use of guitars in the song when Rebecca's enntry sounded like the Village People.

Anyway, Slovenian TV seemed to have learnt their lesson by announcing a shortlist that includes the above Rebecca and Ms Verboten. Indeed Natalija's song is called "SOS" so we expect the police sirens to be making a return. Sasa Lendero, who also entered the Slovenian final last year also makes a return. Her website is available here and the Schlagerboys nearly wet ourselves when we saw her outfit on the front page. Anyone who can get away with bright pink gloves and tights and a glittery disco top deserves a vote.

But the favourite to get the Schlagerboy doouze points are Atomik Harmonik who are entering a song called "Polkaholik". We love it already and we haven't even heard it. A number of videos are available on their website and the Schlagerboys particularly love "Turbo Polka". We love them so much that they have replaced Helena Paparizou as our PC desktop.



As you can see above, they are a cross between Fast Food Rockers and "5, 6, 7, 8" era Steps with a little bit of accordion thrown in for good measure.

Now just watch the professional jury spoil it all.....

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