Schlagerboys Of The World Unite!

The thing about Morrissey is, he's a bit dreary isn't he! Who wants credibility? The Schlagerboys would rather have this:

And Morrissey doesn't do dance routines. Even Daz Sampson managed a demented orangutan bounce as he made his entrance from behind a blackboard.

And there would probably be guitars on stage. And not much glitter. And if there was glitter it would be "ironic-glitter" which is no fun at all.

And has Morrissey ever given us a key change? We can't think of one. There isn't much room for a Morrissey CD in amongst the Shirley's and Lena's and the 15 copies of "Idag Och Imorgon" that we bought because we love Kikki and we wanted her to have a hit. We think one of us might have bought "Bona-drag" in an effort to impress someone in 1991... One of us (the same one) quite likes "Ask".

Anyway, we'd rather have a girl. Now there's something we don't say often. Or preferably a woman who's approaching middle age and looks slightly worse for wear...

Or a drag queen. We're not fussy.