Andy Abraham is Back! Back! Back!

The Schlagerboys are rejoicing, having been sent this link which denies that Andy Abraham is quiting music.

Oh Goody!

Well known for our styling och consulting, the Schlagerboys would like to offer Andy the following tips for making the most of coming last at Eurovision:

1. Ditch the soul. It's boring, it's not clever and nobody's watching.

2. Record a gay-hands-in-the-air version of "Every Loser Wins", Jemini should have done this in 2003.... ditto for James Fox in 2004, Javine in 2005, Daz Sampson in 2006 and Scooch in 2007. None of then did, so it's all yours for the taking, Andy!

3. Stick a couple of Eurovision classics in to your set. How about the Swiss entry from this year, or a cover of "Shady Lady" to show you're not bitter. We would suggest covering the winner, but "Believe" is even worse than "Even if".

4. Say you'll come back next year. Start the campaign now. Say this time you'll do it for fun and you'll gay-up the UK entry. Team up with someone like Sue Pollard or Rusty Lee. How Fabulous! We can see your residency on "Loose Women" as we type! Go for it!

Andy and Rusty for Eurovision 2009! Schlagertastic!

STOP PRESS!!!

Oh no! We've just found this! Bleeeuuurrgh! We've gone right off her; let's go back to Sue Pollard! Hurrah!