Schlagerblog

OMG!! Melodifestivalen Starts This Week!

2012-01-30T20:09:00.000Z

So here's a fabulous picture of Afro-Dite to celebrate!

Norway - What's Going On?

2012-01-29T17:31:00.000Z

Clearly Plumbo were always going to go to the Spektrum; they've got penny whistles, a fab chorus and a schlagertastic key change at exactly the right moment. We're quite happy to have a photo with Tommy Fredvang too; after all his song is written by schlager legend Hanne Sørvaag. There needs to be a bit more effort put in to a dance routine for "Make it Better"; spinning round and round while holding a mic stand in the middle of your song does not count. However Tommy is nice to look at and he's got a nice coat.

But there was a schlager travesty last night when the first finalist was revealed to be Malin. "Crush" is all right and it has a nice "Hello" bit in the chorus, but that's about it. How on earth did that weedy effort get more votes than "Shapeshifter" or "You and I"?

Granted Minni Oh's performance was a bit lack lustre, but for heaven's sake she had pointy shoulder pads and neon lipstick! What's more "You and I" is truly schlagertastic. Meanwhile Rikke Norman belted out "Shapeshifter" like there was no tomorrow. This would have been a fabulous Norwegian entry for Eurovision. The most exciting bit in "Crush", on the other hand, was when she stood up near the beginning. .

In order to cheer ourselves up after MGP we held a Lord Thomas of G:son song contest which was duly won by "I'm In Love" with "C'est La Vie" coming in second. The Schlagerboys attempts to rig the votes for "Evighet" to storm the score board were thwarted when no-one else voted for it. During the proceedings we stalk-texted Lord Thomas himself under the guise of congratulating him on "High On Love" going to the final last week, but really to ask him for votes. He declined to name his own douze points but did amazingly text back this morning to ask who won.

Schlager Legend! Love Him!

Glam Guitars!

2012-01-28T12:04:00.000Z

This lot are in the MGP heat from Larvik tonight. Cocktail Slippers' song might have a few too many guitars but, oh my god, they look FABULOUS!!!

Photo: Hans Fredrik Asbjørnsen/NRK

Where Are Shirley's Angels?

2012-01-28T11:55:00.001Z

Ell & Nikki performed at the semi-final allocation draw earlier this week, but there was a vital part of Azeri culture missing...

It really isn't the same.

It's A Tribute To Everyone Who Feels A Bit Different!

2012-01-27T17:32:00.000Z

There's even more fabulousness in Norway this weekend. An artist described as Norway's Lady Gaga will be performing and we're loving her entry, "You & I". She wears neon make-up and glittery outfits and it sounds like she'll be putting on a huge show! Oh! My! God! It's Minnie Oh!

Schlagerboys: How did you get involved with MGP?

Minnie Oh: I have actually been invited by Per Sundnes and NRK the past three years. This year everything felt right, I wrote "You and I" which I am really proud of and have a crazy plan for the show!

SBs: You’re also known as Miss Harmonica as well as Minnie Oh. Are they two completely different identities? Are they different sides of your personality?

MO: I just changed my artist name now before Eurovision. The reason is that I started to write a bit different music than with the Miss Harmonica project. It´s still much of the same; electronic beats and pop choruses, but the songs are a bit more melancholic than before. Sometimes it just feels good to start from scratch!

SBs: You've got a vintage fashion store in Oslo. If we visited your shop how would you style us? What fabulous 80s things can we buy in your shop?

MO: You would get a lot of great pieces from both the 80s and the 90s! A lot of glitter, gold, bling, prints, sequins and also some good old vintage t-shirts like Fresh Prince, Miami Vice, Star Wars and Milli Vanilli!

SBs: OMG! We could dress up like Belle & the Devotions! What are you going to be wearing on stage in Larvik? Is it going to be all 80s retro neon style?

MO: NRK actually had to order the fabrics for my dress from London because you can´t get them here in Norway. A clue for everything is: glow in the dark! I am inspired by the rave parties in the 90s. I also have a personal jewellery designer, Line Jorddal, who has made some crazy stuff that I will be wearing. The boys in my band will be wearing helmets from the Norwegian fashion designer Vatle. The helmets have actually been on a world tour with the amazing boys in Röyksopp, so they have a lot of pop star dust on them! You just wait and see

SBs: This all sounds completely fabulous! Can't wait to see the show! Have you got a dance routine? Can you tell us what your performance will be like?

MO: I have four wonderful boys that are the most amazing dancers I have ever seen! I won´t reveal too much, but let´s just say that I am really into some of the stuff Madonna's dancers did back in the 90s...! I had this really huge vision of how the show should be already when I wrote the song, and it´s really important to me that everything fits perfect together; the song, the lights, the dancing and the clothes. It´s going to be a holistic show that I can´t wait to show you!

SBs: Oooh, holistic! That sounds posh! Who is your Norwegian Eurovision icon? We love Bobbysocks, how about you?

MO: I do love Bobbysocks as well. I love the 80s, and their pink sequin jackets are legendary! I have a lot of sequin jackets myself, so we´re a good match! I also have good memories from the Swedish guys in The Herreys. Who can forget their song "Diggiloo Diggiley" and those amazing gold boots? Of course I also have a pair of my own

SBs: OMG! You really are a schlager icon! Can you do the "Haba Haba" dance?

MO: No, unfortunately, but I can sing the chorus!

SBs: Have you got a message for the readers of Schlagerblog?

MO: I really hope people will enjoy my song and my show. It´s a tribute to everyone who feels a bit different and to encourage people to follow their dreams. Who dares wins!

OMG! Minnie Oh, you are FABULOUS!! Good luck in Larvik and see you in the Spektrum in a couple of week's time!!

It's Going To Be Fun! Fun! Fun!

2012-01-26T19:09:00.000Z

After all last weekend's excitement in Norway it starts all over again with the second MGP heat in Larvik on Saturday. One half of a diva duo who took part last year is returning with an electro-schlager anthem and she's still got fabulous hair! Oh! My! God! It's Rikke Normann!

Schlagerboys: How did you get involved with MGP again?

Rikke Normann: Per Sundes, the host of the Norwegian finals came to my album release concert in October 2011. He was so happy with what he heard that he said, "Rikke, call me tomorrow, I have a plan!" So I called him the next day and he asked me if I wanted to be in MGP again, only this time alone, 100% myself.

SBs: What’s happened to Åste? What have you been doing since being in the MGP final last year?

RN: Åste is doing fine, singing and working on her own music and other exciting things! Actually, we are singing and entertaining together during the first semifinal in Norway, at Ørland, which we won exactly one year ago! Yeay! We're having a blast, it's great to be back to meet all the cool people!

SBs: We’re loving the little Rikke character on the video game in your "Superstar" video. Did you design her? Will she appear on t-shirts and all sorts of items of clothing?

RN: Thank you! That's so sweet!! Yes I designed her myself, together with a friend of mine, great drawer - Franky Dmiedo – she's wearing an outfit I wore on a concert one time, and in the second verse she also wearing my favorite sunglasses! "Little-Rikki" currently appears on caps and as a USB-album Check it out on my website in the merch shop! She will soon be avaliable on other stuff as well!

SBs: It looks like you've still got the lop-sided Princess Leia hairdo! Hurrah! Is that your signature look? And will your hair be like that on stage in Larvik?

RN: Yeah, I love that hair, and it has been my signature look for the last year. Can't spoil the suprise regarding my hair in Larvik, but I pretty sure you'll recognize me...

SBs: What can we expect from your performance in Larvik? Will you have lots of dancers on stage with you? What’s your dance routine going to be like?

RN: Larvik's going to be kick ass!! I have 6 male break dancers (they're awesome!) from the King Wings Crew and I get to do stunts I've only imagined before... It's going to be FUN FUN FUN and I only hope I get to do it again.

SBs: What is your outfit going to be like on stage?

RN: My outfit is super cool, I love it!! It's a dress, from the same designer as last year, so there is a little resemblance there.. The rest you'll have to wait and see..

SBs: Can you do the "Haba Haba" dance? Wasn’t it a schlager travesty that Stella didn’t make it to the final in Germany?

RN: Of course I can! And yes, a shame Stella didn't make it to the final in Germany, I love her!

SBs: Have you got a message for the readers of Schlagerblog?

RN: Hey Schlagerblog readers, I hope you guys are enjoying great songs and great music for this years eurovision, I know I am! Hope you like my song, I can't wait to perform in Larvik! You guys are great! Love Rikke.

Thanks Rikke! Good luck on Saturday and see you in the Spektrum in February!

Nice Frock & Heels!

2012-01-26T07:12:00.002Z

How fab is this! We might even consider buying a Cypriot flag. Who knew that would ever happen?

Light Your Schlager!

2012-01-25T20:33:00.000Z

And we found out today that the UK gets to vote for Sweden, Norway AND Malta in Thursday's semi-final in May. Hurrah!

Almost Icelandic Schlager...

2012-01-24T20:10:00.000Z

The songs for the final heat of the Icelandic selection for Baku are available to have a listen to on the RUV website. And after two weeks of mostly dull rubbish, ballads and guitary nonsense there's something that could be almost be described as schlager. Hurrah! Here's "Eilíf ást" by Herbert Guðmundsson....

The best bits are obviously the ones with the woman wailing along in the background.

Shall We Mention Denmark?

2012-01-22T20:41:00.000Z

No, can't be bothered. Let's watch this instead - when the Danes knew how to do Eurovision properly...

We Can Barely Contain Our Schlager Excitement!

2012-01-22T16:43:00.005Z

Over To Ørland!

2012-01-22T15:39:00.000Z

It all kicked off in Norway last night so here are the best schlager bits from Ørland ;

1. Irresistible doing a bit of choreographed cane waving whilst strutting around stage. It was clear that the lessons with one of Velvet Inc had paid off in the dance routine department.

2. Reidun's magically appearing catwalk that enabled her to waltz off her podium straight into the gusts of NRK's strategically placed wind-machine.

3. Lisa Stokke's glittery frock, the backing vocalists who appeared from nowhere and the dramatic head down and head up movement on the second key-change followed by the fabulous firework curtain

We could also mention Per Sundnes talking to some German air-force bloke who was twice at tall as him and persuading him to wear an MGP badge.

It's clearly a travesty that the shouty rock band and the boring ballad got through to the final, although the triumph of Reidun's Lord Thomas of G:Son schlager stomper means we'll have at least one song to support in the Spektrum. Hurrah!

How Many Chords Do I Need To Play Samba Sambero?

2012-01-21T11:48:00.000Z

Ovi and Lord Thomas of G:Son are in Ørland supporting Reidun Sæther, who is singing their schlager stompathon "High On Love" in tonight's first MGP heat. And it looks like they're already planning next year's entry. Creating schlager fabulousness like "Samba Sambero" takes a lot of hard work.

Mozart Prepared Me For Lenge Leve Livet!

2012-01-20T16:55:00.000Z

The years 1984 to 1986 are iconic Eurovision years for the Schlagerboys and we always get really excited when an artist from that era returns to a National Final, so the news that one of Dollie de Luxe was coming back to MGP this year was greeted with much schlager celebration at Schlager Towers. It was all about the head scarves, the white jump suits, the frantic arm waving dance routine, the one finger keyboard playing and that fab screechy note at the beginning that made "Lenge Leve Livet" a schlager anthem. Oh! My! God! She's back! Back! BACK!!! It's Benedicte Adrian!!

Schlagerboys: What is your song "Little Bobbi" like? Who are the two boys in United and what will they be doing while you’re singing?

Benedicte Adrian: United is Haji ("Barman" on YouTube,- for info), Kristian Rønning who uses the pseudo "Sirius" on stage (won Norske Talenter 2010 with his own rap) and me.

SBs: Why did you decide to make a comeback to MGP?

BA: The song is so cool. The fact that it is ESC doesn't matter. The song feels good to do.

SBs: What memories do you have of Eurovision 1984? Do you remember The Herreys and did you get to try on their golden boots?

BA: The Herreys were charming and we got along fine! Never tried their boots though...

SBs: Wasted schlager opportunity! Can you remember Belle & the Devotions from the UK ? Did you share make-up and costume ideas?

BA: Didn't really get to know the UK girls. They did their thing, we did ours.

SBs: Stop it! Our dreams of fabulous 1984 schlager parties where everyone sings along to great big gay hands-in-the-air-dance mixes of "Ein bißchen Frieden" while supping cocktails in some dody gay club in deepest darkest Luxembourg City are disappearing before our very eyes! Do you still keep in touch with Ingrid from Dollie de Luxe? Will you ever perform together again?

BA: Ingrid is one of my closest friends and always will be. Who knows if we´ll ever perform together again.

SBs: Get her on for the interval act this Saturday! It worked for Wenche Myhre a couple of years ago (actually it didn't but don't let that put you off...) You've done a lot of classical singing. How did you get into doing that? Did singing the high notes in "Lenge Leve Livet" prepare you for the screeching in Mozart's "Queen of the Night"?

BA: From the age of 15 to 18 I went to music school with singing as main subject for me. Mozart prepared me for "Lenge Leve Livet"!

SBs: You were a judge in Norwegian Pop Idol in 2007. Were you the Simon Cowell nasty judge? And some of the contestants from your year (Åste Hunnes Sem, Bjørn Johan Muri) have gone on to compete in MGP. Did you encourage them to do it? Have you given them any advice?

BA: I was more like Paula Abdul without the dancing, he-he... I gave lots of advices but we never discussed the ESC. These people know what to do themselves I think. Talented and hard working as they are!

SBs: Obviously you are a total Norwegian Eurovision icon yourself, but do you have any Eurovision idols yourself?

BA: Alice from Italy 1984.

SBs: She certainly knew how to wear a pair of gloves. Shame about the funny bloke she had to put up with. Do you have a message for the readers of Schlagerblog?

BA: Hope to see you in Azerbaidjan! Have to practice on the spelling of that land... Did I get it right? Hope you like our song! It think it sounds "new" and surprising. Love, Benedicte

Don't worry about the spelling, love. No-one's going anyway this year- we're all watching it on telly! Good luck in MGP and see you for a photo in the Spektrum

Denmark Needs Ditte (or Karen)!

2012-01-19T20:11:00.000Z

OMG! It's Dansk Melodi Grand Prix 2012 on Saturday and all the artists are busy rehearsing in the Gigantium in Aalborg. The songs can all be heard on the DR website here, but we're most excited about Ditte Marie, the lead singer of Le Freak.She's ditched her band this year and gone solo with a Kylie-esque disco-schlager anthem. It looks like she'll be waving her arms around dramatically while all those tassles get flung around . Hopefully there'll be a wind-machine to provide a bit of extra billowing, although Ditte might need to get some thermals on over the spangly leotard otherwise she'll catch a right old chill.

And then there's Karen Viuff, who's singing "Universe", co-written by the same writer as last year's "New Tomorrow". Her outfit has got the biggest shoulder-pads this side of Joan Collins. Hopefully the hair will be a lot bigger by Saturday night too.

Every Great Artist Is Someone We Look Up To!

2012-01-18T20:05:00.000Z

It's now only three days until Norway's MGP kicks off on Saturday and, Hurrah! The first heat has got a girl group in it! There hasn't been a proper girlband in MGP since Velvet Inc's triumphant performance in 2009 so we're very excited to see whether former Norwegian X Factor contestants Saima Irén Mian, Lise Viktoria Hagen, Ingri Rønning and Hanne Rindal Ree can match those schlager icons. Oh my god, it's time for ANOTHER schlager interview. It's Irresistible!!!

Schlagerboys: What is your MGP song like? The producers of Blue's "I Can" are involved – does it sound like that?

Irresistible: Our MGP song "Elevator" is a song with lots of attitude and it is a mixture of dance and pop, with a little twist of R'n'B. Blue's "I Can" is a great song, but "Elevator" is pretty different. Our song is rough, and a bit more up tempo.

SBs: Have you been taking notes from the fabulous Velvet Inc's performance in MGP 2009? Their performance of "Tricky" is the seminal Eurovision girlband performance – will your performance in Ørland have as much strutting, big hair, fabulous shoes and wind-machines as Velvet Inc's?

Irresistible: Some of the effects will be the same, and some of them very different. One of the girls in Velvet Inc is actually our choreographer for MGP 2012, and she has of course inspired us a whole lot.

SBs: OMG how fabulous! The Velvet Inc legacy lives on! We're hoping for lots of strutting; remember the best attitude is given in a strut (see Carola's "Evighet" and Velvet Inc just before the glitter cannon bit).Have you decided what your outfits will be like?

Irresistible: Our outfits are set, but we would like to keep it a secret until we hit the screen.

SBs: Oooh, we like secrets! How exciting! You look fabulous with the golden glittery facepaint in the photo on the MGP website. Will that be the look you’ll be going for in Ørland?

Irresistible: Thank you so much! We will surely be glamorous, but to fit the song it will contain a bit more attitude.

SBs: .You took part in Norwegian X Factor in 2010 and one of the judges was schlager icon Elisabeth Andreassen. What was your X Factor experience like and did Elisabeth give you any Eurovision hints and tips?

Irresistible: To be a part of the Norwegian X-Factor was a great experience we wouldn't be without. We learned how the music business works and how to do a good performance under pressure. Elisabeth Andreassen was one of those who gave us tips about this, and we will take them with us to the MGP stage. X-Factor also made us learn a whole lot about ourselves, and who we want to be as a girlgroup.

SBs: Well, you can't go wrong with Bobbysocks! Besides preparing for MGP, what else have you been doing since appearing in X Factor? What are your plans for the future (besides representing Norway at Eurovision, of course)?

Irresistible: Since X-Factor we've been working a lot in the studio, preparing our first album and getting a lot of connections in the music industry. Besides representing Norway in Eurovision, our goal is to reach the international market and make great music. We've already managed to get attention from countries like Germany, the Netherlands and Belgium, which we really appreciate and find very exciting!

SBs: Besides Elisabeth do you have any other Norwegian Eurovision icons?

Irresistible: Our Norwegian Eurovision icons would naturally be Velvet Inc and Charmed. But every great artist is someone we look up to.

SBs: Do you have a message for the readers of Schlagerblog?

Irresistible: We would just like to say that we hope you like our song and performance. And if you do, please help us reach the top! Representing Norway in the Eurovision song contest would mean the world to us!

Fabulous! Good luck on Saturday Irresistible, and see you in the Spektrum in February!

Nelly's Back!

2012-01-18T11:36:00.000Z

Oooh! It's no ethno-schlager stomper like "Hora Din Moldova", but it builds nicely to full schlager ballad proportions. There's a great big key-change. It could even have been written by Uncle Ralph Siegel.(although it's actually been written by some bloke from Belarus and another bloke who sounds suspisciously Scandinavian).

Melodifestivalen 2012 Stage Not Dull After All!

2012-01-17T16:06:00.000Z

SVT have released a couple of pictures of the stage for Melodifestivalen 2012. At first glance it looks a bit boring. There are a few small steps at the back, but otherwise it's all a bit flat. How on earth is Charlotte Perrelli going to make her strutting all dramatic if she can only traipse from one side of the stage to the other? But have a look at it from above...

OMG! Is that seven catwalks?? Seven???!!!??? And at least four of them make it all the way to the audience! Just think what Carola could have done with seven catwalks whilst singing "Evighet" in 2006!

The Key-Change Reminds Me Of Carola!

2012-01-16T20:45:00.000Z

It's getting very exciting as it is only five days until the start of the Norwegian Melodi Grand Prix. And the first week has got a song written by Lord Thomas of G:Son! It's his first in the Norwegian selection since the schlager classics "Rocket Ride" and "Ven A Bailar Conmigo" in 2007. Oh. My. God. It's co-written by Ovi Jacobsen, who was bashing away on the other side of Paula Seling's plastic see-through piano for Romania in 2010. And what's more, the singer has been the Killer Queen in We Will Rock You in Norway, wearing a huge wig and fabulous eyelash extensions. Oh my god, it's time for another schlager interview! It's Reidun Sæther!

Schlagerboys: What is your song "High On Love" like?

Reidun Sæther: It's a song that celebrates love, with a touch of girl power, and of course killer-vocals. The refrain is extremely catchy.

SBs: We expect nothing less from Lord Thomas! A new schlager anthem has arrived! What was it like working with schlager god Lord Thomas G:Son?

RS: He is the sweetest guy. I went to his house to record my vocals, and I met his mom, she was very nice too. Thomas knows his stuff, and was very easy to work with. He was very open to my ideas, but he made sure I kept it simple clean. Great guy!

SBs: It's good to know that even schlager gods get their mums round to do the washing up. How many key-changes has he put into your MGP entry?

RS: We put in one key change. The key change reminds me of Carola!

SBs: Did you get to play on Ovi’s clear plastic piano from his performance at Eurovision 2010? And has he got Paula Seling's catsuit in his wardrobe? Did you try it on?

RS: No, I didnt get the chance, unfortunately, to do do either of those things. Maybe in the future - if I win!

SBs: Who is your Norwegian Eurovision icon?

RS: Rolf Løvland

SBs: Oooh.We're a bit torn on Rolf. He was responsible for yawn-fest "Nocturne", but he did write "La Det Swinge" so without him we would never have had the utter fabulousness of Bobbysocks. What was it like performing in We Will Rock You? Your make-up and hair looked fabulous!! Will you be looking like that on stage for MGP?

RS: Thank you. Not excactly like that, I am going for a more classy look, not so dramatic. We Will Rock You was an amazing show to do. And the hair and costumes were spectacular and crazy expensive, but after all I was playing an evil ruler of the world, and was dressed accordingly. In MGP I will be wearing a more "friendly" dress, custom designed by Norwegian star designer Tina Steffenakk Hermansen, and of course hair extentions and looong lashes.

SBs: You've been in lots of other musicals. What was your favourite role?

RS: Hm... it's hard to say. Killer Queen is definitely high up on the list. Some of my sweetest memories are from when I did Cats, though. As a cat you can actually do whatever you want in front of the audience and get away with it. I laughed so hard every night doing that show because from the crazy things my co-workers came up with.

SBs: Do you have a message for the readers of Schlagerblog?

RS: Hey Schlagerblog readers! Hope you all had a great New Year, and that you are all set for the big ESC! Love R.

Thanks Reidun! Good luck for Saturday and see you in the Spektrum in February!

Stand Up For Iceland!

2012-01-15T16:16:00.007Z

The first Icelandic semi-final took place and hurrah! Blár Ópal qualified to the final. To be honest they need to ditch the funny-looking arm-waving dance routine at the start, lose the embarrassing guitar swinging and make the Icelandic rap just a little less shouty but we could just about live with this going to Baku.

There was another song that got to the final to, but that's just too boring to mention.Although we reserve the right to love it in a couple of months time when Iceland choose it as their entry and then give it a great big gay hands-in-the-air disco remix.

I Got To Get Drunk And Stage Fight Every Night!

2012-01-14T16:40:00.002Z

It's only a week to go until the 2012 Norwegian MGP heats start and we're very excited! Taking part in the first heat from Ørland is a West End Schlager Icon; she was the very first Sophie in Mamma Mia, she knows Benny and Björn and she's best friends with Bobbysocks! Oh my god! It's Lisa Stokke!

Schlagerboys: Hi Lisa! What is your song "With Love" like? Has it got a key-change and will you be using a wind-machine?

Lisa Stokke: My producer Tommy Berre and I have based the sound in "With Love" on Celine Dion's brilliant "Taking Chances", but many of my British friends say it reminds them of Take That and Snowpatrol's new material. It does have a key change (Hey, it's Eurovision!) and I will have a wind machine.

SBs: Hurrah! You were the original Sophie in Mamma Mia in the West End. How did you get to do that and what was the experience like? Did you get to meet Frida? What was it like working with Benny and Björn?

LS: I was very fortunate, as I had just signed with a London agent after graduating, who got me the audition. Then, I had to audition 8 times before I got the part. It was one of those odd unexplainable events, where all the pieces fit together. My audition partner who ended up playing Sky, Andrew Langtree (now in Ghost) happened to be my friend and flatmate in London, so we weren't shy having to play a couple.

Needless to say, Mamma Mia was an incredible experience, and continues to be a big part of my life and my career. Playing to a packed audience, receiving a standing ovation every night, and have our cast album go platinum in America was all amazing. I'm still in touch with many from my cast. Meeting Benny and Björn was terrifying, but there was no need, as they are the loveliest two people you could ever hope to meet. I'm still nervous though if I talk to them, as I'm in awe of their talent and achievements. I sadly have never met Frida, and I would have loved to, especially seeing we're both from Northern Norway, and her life is very fascinating. I also happened to think growing up that she seemed the coolest and loveliest of the two women.

SBs: Ooh yes, we agree! Frida always looked like the one who could hold a drink. You've been in lots of other West End shows. What was your favourite?

LS: This is such a difficult question, and there is no good answer. I have loved every role and every musical I've been in has been such a joy and a challenge for different reasons. But if I had to choose one, I think I would have to say Guys and Dolls. I honestly could have played Sarah Brown the rest of my life and felt challenged every night. The music, the choreography and the beautifully written scenes were just a gift for an actor. I got to fall in love and have my heart broken, as well as dance the tango, get drunk and stage fight every night. Can't beat it.

SBs: Besides appearing in musicals what else have you been doing up to now?

LS: I created my own docudrama called Lisa Goes to Hollywood two years ago, where my two young children (my husband had to stay working in London), my Mother and I moved to LA for three months. That was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life, and if I could, I would most definitely move to LA. The show aired in Scandinavia and Finland, a very proud moment. I've also been on several Norwegian tv shows, and this year I played a lead in a Norwegian dramedy in 8 episodes called Småbyliv (Suburbia) which was a very rewarding experience. In 2006 I released my solo album with the Norwegian Broadcasting Orchestra "A Piece of Lisa", a huge highlight career wise. I've also played at my beloved Union Theatre in London twice, first in Assassins, and this autumn in The Baker's Wife playing Genevieve, for which I've been nominated as Best Actress in the Off West End Awards. Playing fringe has become one of my favourite things to do, as it really challenges you as a performer. It leaves you very naked and vulnerable, and removes all trickery that performers often tend to use.

SBs: Have you decided what you will be wearing on stage in Ørland? And have you got a dance routine?

LS: I am having a costume made by Cåre Jonny, a famous Norwegian drag performer, who's also a costume designer and hair and make up artist. Needless to say, it will be fabulous! As far as I know, I don't have a dance routine, but if required, I'll dance (we have 3 days rehearsal).

SBs: Can you do Stella Mwangi’s "Haba Haba" dance?

LS: Sadly, no, but it's not too late, ha, ha! I thought she seemed like such a lovely girl with a great song, and I was shocked that she didn't get through to the international final.

SBs: Yes it was a schlager travesty! Who is your Norwegian Eurovision icon? Have you met Bobbysocks?

LS: My Norwegian Eurovision icons are of course Bobbysocks (I know them both, and they are inspiring women and amazing performers) and also my very dear friend, my brother-from-another-mother Haldor Lægreid, who was robbed in Eurovision with "On My Own". I don't understand what happened that year! He should have won.

SBs: Do you have a message for the readers of Schlagerblog?

LS: Please vote for my song "With Love", its message applies to us all (and, it's a lot of fun to sing along to)! Have a fun Eurovision this year!

Thanks Lisa! Good luck next week in Ørland and see you in the Spektrum!

And That's Where The Commentary Boxes Will Go!

2012-01-13T18:06:00.000Z

The President of Azerbaijan has been inspecting the building work for the new arena that's being built in Baku for Eurovision. The President is clearly enthralled by the progress that's being made but we're LOVING the First Lady. Mehriban Aliyeva looks like she's been dragged along by hubbie and been told to take an interest, something she's not really managing to do. But she does look fabulous in her giant popstar sunglasses, hand-in-pocket pose and dragging her fashionable handbag with her. She's just wondering how long it will be before she take herself and her big heels away from the building site and back to somewhere more fitting of her utter fabulousness.

Der Countdown Läuft!

2012-01-12T16:51:00.000Z

It all looks a bit serious in Germany as they start their selection shows tonight. But that's OK if it means they manage to produce another Lena and we get to go to Düsseldorf next year!

Conchita Is What She Is!

2012-01-11T19:10:00.001Z

8 of the 10 songs in the running to represent Austria in Baku have been made available to listen on the ORF website. And it's all about Conchita Wurst and her schlagertastic anthem "That's What I Am". Don't bother listening to any of the others as they are all either shouty, waily or have got far too many guitars for our liking.

Conchita starts off all slow, just like all schlager anthems should, before getting discotastic for the chorus. We can just imagine Conchita standing in a spotlight, in the middle of a darkened stage and then it all lights up and the backing dancers come on. There's much strutting about and lots of singing into wind-machines and then the dancers disappear for the slow bit (after which there really should be a key-change), coming back on stage waving huge rainbow flags. In fact, it should look just like this...

Nina's Got Talent!

2012-01-10T20:05:00.000Z

Croatian TV seem to have dashed our hopes of the fabulous Colonia going to Baku and instead opted to choose Nina Badrić without any kind of selection show. We've no idea whether she'll be choosing her song by herself or whether the Croatian televoting public get a say, but judging by most of her stuff available on YouTube, we'll either get a dull ballad or something that doesn't appear to have a tune. However, all is not lost as we've found this clip of Nina performing on what appears to be Croatia's Got Talent...

Judging by this performance Nina can manage a bit of coordinated hip wiggling along with a great deal of finger pointing combined with strutting in fabulous boots while a wind-machine or two blows a gale around her. The backing dancers even do some flag waving towards the end and the crowd goes wild chanting Nina's name. Let's hope she's planning something along these lines for Baku.

Oooh! It's The Icelandic The Wanted!!

2012-01-09T16:12:00.001Z

The songs for the first Icelandic heat, which is due to take place this Saturday, are available on the RUV website.

They are mostly a load of shouty dullness, except for this cheeky-looking boyband called Blár Ópal. Their song is called "Stattu Up", which we're reliably informed by Google Translate, is Icelandic for "Stand Up". The verses seem to have one of the boys doing some shouty Icelandic comedy rapping, but it all culminates into singalong "na na na na heys" and the backing track gets all Ricky Martin before it comes to an abrupt end. It's not Hera Björk, but it'll do from Iceland until something better comes along next week.

Colonia For Croatia!

2012-01-09T15:09:00.002Z

There's even more Europop excitement this afternoon with the news that this lot are entering the Croatian Dora...

Obviously it'll be a completely different song but it looks like we can rely on Colonia to give us dance routines and a song that'll go down well in Eurodiscos for years to come. And the lead singer seems to be partial to wearing several different frocks in the one video with a change of hairdo every time she moves. It all bodes well for a fabulous performance in Baku.

This Is Fabulous!

2012-01-09T14:39:00.000Z

We can't be bothered to wade through the 378 songs in the Lithuanian selection for Eurovision 2011 but this fabulousness has been pointed out to us...

The band is called Movetron and they've teamed up with a Lithuanian singer called Vaida to sing "Medieval Love". Movetron are from Finland and apparently the song was originally submitted to the Finnish Eurovision selection but they were chucked out. Thank goodness Lithuania let them in otherwise we might never have heard this slice of 90s Europop fabulousness.

We La La Love Ivi!!

2012-01-07T16:35:00.001Z

Cypriot TV has released the three songs to be sung by Ivi Adamou in the National Final on January 25th. All three are on their website here, but there's one that they should send to Baku, and that's "La La Love".

It's got almost everything, including a "break-it-down" bit just where they key-change should be where we can imagine Ivi doing funky, dramatic dancing as the stage goes dark and loads of flashing lights get everyone all excited. We might even have been tempted to buy a Cypriot flag if we were planning to go to Azerbaijan...

Euroceleb Charity Extravaganza!!!

2012-01-06T14:39:00.005Z

There are lots of fabulous schlager things to look forward to in 2012 but one of the most amazing is a huge charity concert in Gateshead in April. The organisers have already announced that Brotherhgood of Man, Bobbysocks, Lys Assia, Anne Marie David, Daz Sampson and Josh Dubovie will be there. They've even managed to dig up Scott Fitzgerald and his 1980s Princess Di hairdo. And we're promised even more Eurocelebs will be announced very soon.

We got so excited that we had to find out a bit more about the event and contacted the organiser, Sue Lawrence, for more details.

Schlagerboys: So Sue, we know Eurovision is fabulous, but why do you love it too?

Sue Lawrence: For the last 21 years a group of very good friends have met on Eurovision night. If we didn't have that as a fixed date each year, then we probably would have lost touch a long time ago. I had a score board made at one of our parties. There are alot of people who say they don't watch the ESC, yet when songs are played at a party they know all the words!!!!!!!!!!!! I have great memories of the ESC, even got to see the rehearsal in Birmingham when Dana International won, the atmosphere was amazing, and I would like to replicate that if I could on 11th April, but most importantly I want to raise as much money as possible for children with cancer.

SBs: Can you tell us about the charity that will be benefiting from the concert?

SL: I began working for The Toma Fund in November. The charity gives financial assistance to families who have a child with cancer. The money may be used for a special bed, so the child can be nursed at home, a special treat for the child, or the worst scenario to help pay for the funeral costs. So I think you will all agree a worthy cause.

SBs: How have you gone about organising the event?

SL: I had already been looking at the idea before I started working for The Toma Fund, although I have put in many hours of research since September, when I had alot of free time on my hands between jobs. I have produced large scale shows before, but wanted something different, and that would gain as much publicity as possible, so that everybody would then know all about The Toma Fund, and want to support a fantastic charity. The first job was to find some contacts, as I didn't have one contact when I began this project. Thanks to John Kennedy O'Connor, Paul Marks Jones, Liam Whelan and Daz Sampson, to name but a few I now have an amazing line up, with some very big names, hopefully still to come. I have been told that nothing on this scale has been done in the UK before, I'm not sure how true that is, but I'm pretty sure there hasn't been an event of this size done in the North East.

SBs: Other than buying a ticket and screaming at Bobbysocks, is there anything else people can do to support the event?

SL: I am also looking for sponsors, as the event is costing £18,000 to hold. The main costs are the venue, travel and hotel for the performers. I have British Airways funding some flights, and in touch with other airlines, as well as hopefully securing a good deal with an hotel. But if the show is a sellout it could easily make a profit of £30,000, and if I could find some very kind sponsors to help cover the costs, many more poorly children and their families would be helped.

SBs: And what does a sponsor get:?

SL: If I could find eighteen sponsors who would be willing to pay £1,000 each, they would get one of the best seats in the house, accommodation and be a special guest at the after show party.

OMG!!! That sounds fabulous!! We'll be heading to Gateshead in April and we can't wait to find out which other super-secret Eurocelebs will be announced in the next couple of months. Toma Fund Presents Eurovision Reunited is on 11th April at The Sage Gateshead, . Tickets will be on sale from 11th January and will cost £28.50. For anybody wishing to become a sponsor please contact Sue via email on suelawrence@tomafund.org or through her Facebook page. Sue has asked us to point out that this is an independent fundraising event organised by the Toma Fund, and is not associated in any way with the EBU.

We Love Lise!

2012-01-04T16:50:00.000Z

Look how fabulous the single cover for Lise Karlsnes' entry for Norway's MGP, "Sailor" is!! We're loving Lise already!!

According to Platekompaniet the song is due for release on 16th January. Does that mean we've only got 12 days until we hear all this year's Norwegian songs, including the inevitable schlager stomper from Lord Thomas of G:Son??? How exciting!

They Should Have Asked Us!

2012-01-04T13:47:00.001Z

It's all hotting up over in Denmark. DR name the artists for Dansk Melodi Grand Prix tomorrow and we're on the edge of our seats for a return by Dame Kirsten Siggaard, but until then we're being teased by the announcement that there will be an international jury of experts from Russia, Norway, Germany and Azerbaijan helping Denmark make their choice.

The experts from Azerbaijan had better be Shirley's Angels or we won't be happy.

The Schlager Highlights of 2011!!

2011-12-31T11:45:00.000Z

We're ignoring the Albanian song as it's rubbish and shouty and can only be improved by a great-big-gay-hands-in-the-air disco remix, so it's time for the Schlagerboys' highlights of the 2011 schlager year. Hurrah!

5. Meeting Jenny Ace of Base at the Dansk Melodi Grand Prix Opening Party (well, downstairs at a little bar somewhere in Copenhagen) and getting her to choose her favourite Blue-head-on-a-stick and her running her fingers over Duncan, Simon, Lee and the other one and then saying "I will have them all!". Obviously we told her she was an absolute 90s Europop icon and she replied in a deadpan voice that she wanted to marry both of us. LEGEND!!

4. Alcazar's absolutely final ever live performance (until someone offers them another schlagertastic anthem for Melodifestivalen in a couple of years time). Clearly the classic line-up is still the one that includes (Mi Amore) Annikafiore and Magnus Carlsson but Lina, Tess and Andreas made the 10 hour wait at the front of Stockholm Pride stage, putting up with rubbish Ukrainian boybands and blokes in their underpants doing inappropriate things on a stripper's pole and not daring to go to the loo in case we couldn't get back through the throngs again, worth it).

3. We were in Stockholm earlier in the year aswell to see Sanna Nielsen at the Rival Hotel. She was fabulous, although it was all a bit acoustic. We queued for a CD, which she signed, and obviously we told her she was our favourite. But there's no doubt that the schlager highlight of being in Stockholm in April was wandering past Åhléns department store, realising that there were various celebs shaking fundraising tins for UNICEF, and then seeing, OH! MY! GOD! Lil Lindfors. We were schlager starstruck to see such an icon whilst just wandering round in the street. We had to wait ages as she was being hogged by some bloke and his kid. We did feel like elbowing the child out of the way to get at Dame Lil, but felt this wouldn't have gone down too well. Eventually we got a chance to buy a charity badge, tell Ms Lindfors what an icon she is and then, as this moment would probably never come again, we asked her to sing a verse from the song she sang during the opening of Eurovision 1985. OMG!!

2. New schlager icons were born this year. We knew Dame Shirley was back, Back! BACK!! in Melodifestivalen 2011 and we knew she was going to be accompanied by her Angels, but we didn't realise that the Angels would very nearly eclipse Shirley in sheer schlager fabulosity. The performance of "I Thought It Was Forever" turned Shirley's Angels into icons, what with all the strutting on enormous heels and all those hair-flicks.Then the Angels got taken on as backing singers for Azerbaijan at Eurovision and then went on and won!!

During the week in Düsseldorf we met the Angels in the Euroclub. They were hanging out with a load of Swedish people, so we felt it was appropriate to tell them they were fabulous, took a photo and then asked them to do a couple of "I Thought It Was Forever" hair-flicks for a rubbish schlager video with us screaming in the background. OMG!!! It's THE schlager move of 2011!

1. There is only one schlager icon that can top a Shirley's Angels hair-flick and that's Dame Kirsten Siggaard, the ultimate Scandinavian schlager diva. There we were, minding our own business in the press room in an arena miles outside of Copenhagen, watching the dress rehearsal of Dansk Melodi Grand Prix, when Dame Kirsten walked in eating a bran muffin. We pounced on her and, bless her, she even said "Oh! The Schlagerboys!", although it was probably more in fright whilst thinking "Why on earth didn't anyone tell me these pair of stalkers were here?" and eyeing up the quickest escape route. Dame Kirsten had a huge schlager influence on both of the Schlagerboys in our formative years and after we'd had a photo, told her how fabulous she was and explained what a huge icon she still is, we had to have a sit down.

And that's without mentioning being ever so slightly tipsy and a little bit over-enthusiastic on live Norwegian TV in February, getting Glen Vella to sing "Vertigo" in the Euroclub, meeting the fabulous Senit at the Amsterdam Preview Party and telling Aftonbladet that we didn't think Linda Bengtzing would be going "direkt til Globen" after the Melodifestivalen semi-final rehearsal in Malmö. Happy new schlager year everyone!!

Shouty Flamenco Woman For Spain!

2011-12-21T11:54:00.000Z

Spanish TV have announced today that Pastora Soler will represent Spain in Baku next May.We've done a bit of a YouTube search and she seems to be fond of shouty ballads and doing a bit of flamenco screaming, but at least she's got great taste in fab frocks and big hair, so there's alot of potential. Especially if Lord Thomas of G:Son shoves a song or two in to the Spanish selection.

Anastasiya Is Back, Back! BACK!

2011-12-15T13:56:00.000Z

Ms Vinnikova is having another go at representing Belarus with "Shining In Twilight". It's OK but really isn't a patch on the song that Anastasiya should have sung in Düsseldorf, "Born In Bielorussia", which is clearly a lost classic.

I Met Lili & Susie! They Were Really Great!

2011-12-13T16:42:00.001Z

There are all sorts of reasons to get excited about Melodifestivalen 2012 and we could go on for ages (and probably will do) about the return of schlager divas Charlotte, Lotta and Afrodite but what we really need are a few new schlager divas. Mimi Oh has appeared on the schlager scene recently and released a video of her single "Kom Hit Och Dansa" looking all the world like she's just stepped off stage from Melodifestivalen 1987, having nicked Lena Philipsson's outfit on the way, and she'll be taking part in the second Melodifestivalen heat next February in Gothenburg. Oh! My! God! It's Mimi Oh!!!

Schlagerboys: Why do you love the 80s so much?

Mimi Oh: There was something special about that decade. Happy, colourful and a lot of great music.

SBs: Are you desperate to be Lena Philipsson? Will you be getting Lena Ph 1980s big hair and learning the funky movements to “Dansa I Neon”?

MO: No, I really like Lena but I don’t want to be her, and unfortunately I won't do the moves from "Dansa I Neon". Time goes by, time for great new things!

SBs: Has Lena given you any tips on how to be successful at Melodifestivalen?

MO: No, I've never talked to her, I met Lili and Susie though. And they were really great!

SBs: OMG!! You met schlager icons Lili & Susie? That must have been a career highlight! What is your favourite Melodifestivalen song from the 80s? Please don't say "E' de' det här du kallar kärlek?" as that is just wrong, although Lasse Holm, as a songwriter, is a complete schlager icon!

MO: Haha! It’s not "E' de' det här du kallar kärlek?", what do you think about me! I'm not that old! I love "Främling", and "Dansa I Neon".

SBs: Don't you think that Anna Book is just a total schlager icon too and she was robbed in Melodifestivalen 2007? It should have been her in Helsinki and not The Ark!

MO: She seems really great but I didn't really like that song. "ABC" was better!

SBs: We'll have to disagree as "Samba Sambero" is a schlager classic of EPIC proportions, but we'll forgive you as you've clearly got great taste apart from this. Without giving too much away (we don’t want you to be disqualified!) what is your entry for Melodifestivalen 2012, "Det går för långsamt" like? Has it got a key-change? What are the lyrics all about?

MO: It’s an uptempo song with a lot of feeling, it's about when you just fall in love and you want to be close to that person!

SBs: Sounds like a schlager classic in the making. No confirmation of a key-change but there's still plenty of time to shove one in. It's probably too early, but have you been working on a dance routine? What sort of stage act will you have? And will it involve a wind-machine and leg-warmers?

MO: I will have dance with a lot of colour in my performance! I'm bringing a lot of the 80s to the modern times we have now, so I will not have leg-warmers. You can see how it usually looks when I’m on stage at my YouTube channel.

SBs: Shame about the leg-warmers but we're looking forward to the dancing and colour! Do you have a message for the readers of Schlagerblog?

MO: I really hope you will like what I will bring to Melodifestivalen this year and I will be forever thankful if you support me!!!!! Lots of love and never forget your dreams!

We won't forget ourdreams!! Good luck Mimi Oh!! And can't wait to hear all about the preparations! We'll be watching Gothenburg via the internet in February!

Evil Schlager Queen!

2011-12-13T14:14:00.001Z

Here's Niamh Kavanagh starring as the Evil Queen in the Tivoli Theatre production of Sleeping Beauty in Dublin...

Looks like she gets to wear a fabulous hat and frock. Wonder if she sings "It's For You" too, the screeching she managed during the key-change on stage in Oslo would be enough to scare off any fairy princess. Although obviously we love Niamh and think she's fabulous.

More information and tickets are available here.

Swiss Shambles!

2011-12-12T17:38:00.001Z

The Schlagerboys tuned into the Swiss national final on Saturday. The entries this year were all a bit serious and dull, including far too many who played their own instruments and wrote their own songs. It was all a bit odd how the acts were only allowed to sing two minutes of their entry, while three random Swiss blokes, who clearly wouldn't know much about fun even if it came and slapped them in the face with a wet haddock, rambled on for ages between songs. Although keeping the songs down to two minutes was perhaps a blessing in disguise for some of the entries, especially the one that won.

There were a few highlights of the evening though...

- Dame Lys Assia performing "C'était Ma Vie", to the cheers and a standing ovation from the assembled gayers in the audience.Lys has apparently takne the hump after coming 8th and demanded an apology from the judges for slagging her off.

- Our favourite song was the cheesy bloke with a violin doing the only vaguely schlager song of the night. This would have been fab in Baku and will no doubt go down a storm in Eurodiscos for years to come. AND it had the first key-change of the 2012 National Final season (there may have been one earlier but the songs were too dull to notice.)

- the videos of the presenter wandering round a barren building site in Baku, allegedly where the venue for Eurovision 2012 is being built, and asking if he could lend a hand to some bemused builders. He even offered to move a couple of concrete blocks around. We're not quite sure how serious this was ment to bebut it doesn't bode well for anyone going to Baku next May that the arena hasn't even been built yet.
glanz & gloria vom 09.12.2011

Kati's Christmas!

2011-12-07T16:12:00.001Z

Kati Wolf is part of some sort of Hungarian celeb-packed Christmas song, complete with children's choir. Kati gets to stand in a room, belting out her part, while dressed as a Christmas tree decked out in toilet rolls. There seems to be at least half a dozen key-changes, and it starts snowing all over Kati (even though she's still standing in someone's fancy front room) just at the most dramatic point of the song. Kati clearly had it written in to her contract that she had to be the most glam singer in the video, as the other woman just sits slumped in an armchair all the way through the song. Happy Christmas Kati!

How Completely Bonkers Is This?

2011-12-05T15:36:00.000Z

Schlager Choir!

2011-12-05T14:50:00.002Z

This is FABULOUS!

Someone's Spent Alot Of Money On Their Video...

2011-12-03T16:28:00.000Z

Shame the song's a bit rubbish.

Nikki's dumped Ell and gone solo for something that's obviously way too modern for us and, frankly, hasn't got a tune. Oh dear.

Norwegian Schlager Diva Returns!

2011-12-01T07:59:00.000Z

Norwegian schlager diva Benedicte Adrian is back, Back! BACK!! She was one half of Dollie Deluxe back in the early 80s and she'll be taking part in MGP next year.

However, we are a little worried that she's drafted in a couple of blokes to help her, one of whom is described as "the Norwegian Eminem", which can't possibly be a good thing. And the song they'll be singing, "Little Bobbi", is described as "Middle Eastern pop meets dubstep on a hip hop night at a club run by Prince."

Oh dear.

Paddy's Talking About His Semis!

2011-11-30T09:54:00.000Z

How exciting! Paddy O'Connell is doing a one man show in London for the next three Sundays and he'll be talking about his Eurovision experiences and how he managed to grab the semi-final commentating job. It's called My Semi Heaven and apparently there will be exclusive videos and everything! It sounds fab and he obviously needs to bring it to Birmingham, the UK's capital of Eurovision.

We've only met Paddy once (although we've been in his presence at many a Eurovision Preview Party) and that was in Istanbul just before the final. We saw a load of UK fans and asked to take their picture. It was only several months afterwards that we realised that the bloke in the blue suit crammed on the end was Paddy. If we'd have known we would obviously have ditched the nutters in the Union Jack shirts straight away and obviously told him he was our favourite and asked him for a photo... What a wasted Euroceleb opportunity!

Tickets for Paddy's show are available here.

Reasons To Love Charlotte's New Look!!

2011-11-29T08:26:00.001Z

1. OMG!! Just look at those AMAZING purple, gold and silver lamé trousers!

2. And what ENORMOUS stiletto heels. They must have just wheeled her on as she can't possibly walk in those.

3. The new dark hairdo. Let's hope she doesn't go blonde again for next year.

4. The concrete wall she's using as a backdrop. We can always rely on Charlotte to choose a classy location for a photo shoot.

Kikki's Schlagertour Catastrophe!

2011-11-28T16:24:00.002Z

OMG!!! According to Expressen, Kikki Danislesson has had to postpone her tour and might even have to cancel it all together! It's a schlager catastrophe! Apparently there have been poor ticket sales, even though the show was going to have stories and comedy in it all about Kikki's schlager career. It sounds like it'll be fabulous and we really ought to book a flight to Sweden straight away! Especially if she's going to get her accordion out and do the Cowboy Yodel!

Malmö: The Heat of DEATH!!!

2011-11-28T15:52:00.000Z

Earlier today SVT announced the last 16 artists who will be performing in Melodifestivalen 2012 in Leksand and Malmö. There are even more reasons to get excited about this lot than there were last week...

- Love Generation are back, Back! BACK! Let's hope they kept hold of those lycra catsuits from earlier this year. It seems like they've ditched one of the girls. They should have just done a Sugababes and picked some random young woman off the street. No-one would have noticed.

- Youngblood look quite nice, don't they? And they're singing a Sir Fredrik of Kempe stomper too. Hurrah!

- Malmö looks like it's the HEAT OF DEATH!!! What with Charlotte Perrelli, Danny Saucedo and the Lotta Engberg & Christer Sjögren duet. Although there's a dodgy rock band with poodle perms in that heat too, so they'll probably win with all the fabulousness left to slug it out in the Andra Chansen round.

(Photos: Expressen / Sven Lindwall)

Mimi Oh Really Is Fabulous!

2011-11-23T13:34:00.002Z

...because it looks like she just wants to be Lena Philipsson (circa 1986).

She needs to work on recreating the bubble perm though.

Melodifestivalen Will Be SHAKING!!

2011-11-22T21:09:00.001Z

SVT yesterday announced the artists taking part in the first two Melodifestivalen heats next year in Växjö and Gothenburg. There are lots of reasons to get excited but these are the main ones:

- Loreen is singing Lord Thomas of G:Son's "Euphoria". Considering that her song in 2011 was exceptionally dull and she wore a horrible woolly cardigan thing this shouldn't really be a good thing. But Jenny Silver sang something that we can barely remember in 2010 and then came back, Back! BACK! in 2011 with the schlagertastic anthem of the year. We're hoping that Loreen has learned from Jenny Silver. And judging by the photo, she was obviously trying out a finger-in-the-air dance routine at the press conference.

- Afrodite are back, Back! BACK! And still looking fabulous is tin-foil outfits. We're just keeping our fingers crossed for a shouty "We'll be SHAKING!!!" moment.

- We've no idea who Mimi Oh is but she looks fabulous.

And that's about it. There are some worryingly guitarry looking bands like Thorsten Flinck och Revolutionsorkestern (whose song is written by Lord Thomas of G:Son - what on earth do you think you're doing Lord Thomas?), Dead By April and Top Cats (who are singing the song co-written by one half of Lili & Susie - so no return for the 80s schlager divas. Shame.) and Sonja Aldén's effort is bound to be a ballad (unless Shirley has had a word and Ms Aldén has rediscovered disco-Sonja).

(Photos: Sven Lindwall / Expressen)

Boring Belgium!

2011-11-18T14:44:00.001Z

Apparently some young girl called Iris is going to represent Belgium next year in Baku. If her song is anything like her big hit single from earlier in the year....

....then we're in for another load of dull tripe after the boringness that was Tom Dice in 2010 and the freaky acapella singers in 2011.

And in other news, Željko Joksimović will be writing and singing the song for Serbia next year. Unless Željko is currently going through his disco phase it's all going to be a bit dull in Baku, isn't it?

Dance Like Frida & Agnetha (Sort Of)!

2011-11-16T19:20:00.009Z

A new game has been released for the Wii, which gets you to dance along to ABBA. The dance routines seem just a little bit too energetic to have even been considered by Agnetha in the 70s, who generally just shuffled around on stage not quite in time to the music, looking like an embarrassing aunty at a wedding. Although Frida would probably have killed to do all this co-ordinated finger pointing and bum wiggling while Björn and Benny gurned away in the background. We'll be getting this for our New Year's Eve party (so long as someone gets us a Wii for Christmas...)

Norwegian Schlager Queen!

2011-11-12T11:17:00.002Z

OMG!! Lord Thomas of G:Son has got a song in next year's Melodi Grand Prix! Hurrah!

It's co-written with Ovi, the bloke who played on the other side of that plastic piano to Paula Selling in Oslo and is sung my some woman who played the Killer Queen in the Norwegian version of We Will Rock You. That means she'll be able to belt it out AND manage a dance routine at the same time.

We're thinking "Rocket Ride" Mk II...

Song For Norway!

2011-11-10T16:43:00.000Z

We've just found this...

It looks like it's from a Norwegian comedy programme and it would no doubt be hilarious if we understood what they were going on about. But the song sounds like something Uncle Ralph Siegel would have shoved in for Eurovision in 1990, complete with squealy key-change and there are a few random Norwegian Eurocelebs hogging the microphone in the video. Well, Didrik, Hanne Sørvaag and the bloke from WigWam. Maybe Bobbysocks were busy.

Schlager Reasons To Be Excited!!

2011-11-09T14:37:00.002Z

OMG!! SVT have published the list of songs and songwriters for Melodifestivalen 2012. There's no confirmation of any of the artists but there are still lots of reasons to get excited;

- Lord Thomas of G:Son is back, Back! BACK! He's got three songs in and "Euphoria" sounds like it must be fabulous. He's got another one in Swedish and a third called "Land of Broken Dreams", which could be equally amazing. Although Lord Thomas does occasionally shove in a rubbish guitar song because he wants to be a rock god even though he can't help but churn out schlager anthems like "Samba Sambero".

- Lasse Holm is also back, Back! BACK! The rumours are that this is the one for Lotta Engberg and Christer Sjögren and if it is we must be for some complete 1980s schlager fabulousness! Like this, this or this!! Hurrah!

- Sir Fredrik of Kempe has two songs. One called "The Girl", which is allegedly sung by Charlotte Perrelli. Lets hope Sir Fredrik hasn't gone all ballad on us. Although his other song is called "Youngblood", so we might be in for a new Eric Saade or Måns Zelmerlöw, or even a whole new Swedish boyband full of Eric and Måns clones, which isn't a bad thing.

- one half of Lili & Susie has co-written a song called "Baby Doll". Fingers crossed it's as fabulous as this, and that we'll be seeing Lili & Susie strutting round the Globen stage next March.

- there's a song called "Just A Little Bit" by The RedOne Team. And apparently it'll be sung by Love Generation. Let's hope they kept hold of the black and white skin-tight outfits from last year and are ready to give plenty of big hair.

And that's about it so far. There's no sign of Shirley's Angels but they could be singing just about anything and get away with it by having fabulous heels and standing there doing co-ordinated hair flicks. And Sonja Aldén has co-written a song that she'll no doubt sing herself, but it'll probably be a ballad so that's just boring.

Oslo: Here We Come!

2011-11-07T17:23:00.000Z

The Schlagerboys have bought our tickets for the Norwegian Melodi Grand Prix final today. Hurrah!

Now all we need is a Jenny Jenssen comeback!

Gordon Does It For The Dutch!

2011-11-04T17:56:00.001Z

We're LOVING "Luchtkaseel", the song that Gordon and some other blokes have submitted to the Dutch Songfestival 2012. And given there are only five of them there'll be space left for the fabulously squeally opera woman on stage in Baku too. Gordon needs to trim it down to three minutes and while he's doing that perhaps he can shove in a key change too just to make it even more schlagertastic. It's the best thing to come out of the Netherlands since Sieneke and her giant organ!

Kati's Life Goes on!

2011-11-04T10:45:00.002Z

Hurrah! Kati Wolf has released a new album and it's got an English of "Vár a holnap" called "Life Goes On". And fabulous it is too. It's just like an extended mix of "What About My Dreams?" She's obviously found a sound that works for her (and the gayers in the Budapest nightclubs too).

Unfortunately the album is only available on Hungarian iTunes at the moment, but you can have a listen to snippets here. And it'll surely be available soon on the UK iTunes as Kati is clearly such a HUGE international star!

Kirsten & Søren Back For Christmas!!

2011-11-02T14:30:00.001Z

Danish schlager icons Kirsten and Søren are getting back together in the studio to record a song for Kirsten's Christmas album.

And, according to Ekstra Bladet, they'll be on stage again together in early 2012 as part of a tour with other Dansk Melodi Grand Prix celebs.

Oh! My! God! Where can we get tickets???

Schlager Is Back! Back Back!

2011-11-01T12:59:00.000Z

OMG! Aftonbladet are reporting the rumour that Magnus Carlsson will be making a comeback to Melodifestivalen next year! Hurrah! After the 2007 schlager fiasco of "Live Forever" being cruelly dumped out of the semi-final and not even making it to the second chance round, Magnus is apparently in Christer Björkman's good books again. This is a very good thing as Magnus has been busy embracing his inner disco diva for the last few years, and hopefully we'll get something like this...

And what's even more exciting is that Lotta Engberg will be teaming up with Christer Sjögren to sing a traditional dansband schlager! It'll be like "I Love Europe" Mark 2 but with added Lotta! It can't get much more fabulous than that. Let's just hope Lotta hasn't been banged up in schlager prison for tax evasion before next February.

Schlager Song!

2011-10-31T19:05:00.001Z

At the weekend the Schlagerboys travelled to Belfast for the annual Consong event to choose the most fabulous song that didn't make it to Düsseldorf. Over the past few years Consong has recognised such schlager fabulousness as Queentastic, Måns Zelmerlöw and Hera Björk's "Someday". In fact, TV stations around Europe should just ditch the televoters and ask everyone that goes to Consong to choose the songs to go to Eurovision instead. That way we probably wouldn't be subjected to guitary dullness and dreary ballads at the actual Contest and just have one schlager anthem after another. How fabulous would that be?

Anyway, we had been campaigning for Jenny Silver to be the Swedish entry in Consong but the organisers were keeping their choice under wraps and teasing us that they had chosen something "different" for Sweden. We were a bit fearful that this meant Nicke Borg's awful guitar noise from the Melodifestivalen final. But fortunately schlager sense prevailed and "Something In Your Eyes" was the Swedish Consong entry and ended up winning. Fabulous.

And after all the campaigning we gave our twelve points to Le Freak's "25 Hours A Day" anyway. Probably because Denmark were on last and we'd drunk half a bottle of vodka by then.

MGP 2012 Will Be Irresistible!

2011-10-28T20:05:00.000+01:00

The first couple of acts for next year's Melodi Grand Prix have been announced. There's still plenty of time for Per to get Jenny Jenssen to make her schlager comeback but we're going to have someone who was in Junior Eurovision a few years ago and is now all grown up, and then there's going to be a girlband who were in Norwegian X Factor. We're not too excited about the Junior Eurovision girl (unless her song is a schlager stomper, of course) but Irresistible look like they have got some potential. With a bit of guidance from Velvet Inc on how to have big hair, wear fabulous shoes and strut around the stage they could be an MGP 2012 highlight.

A Window On Baku!

2011-10-26T17:47:00.001+01:00

The people organising Eurovision in Azerbaijan next year still haven't built a venue, and now they're proposing something with a giant glass wall that you'll be able to see the lights and skyscrapers of Baku through. It all looks very impressive but we wouldn't want to be the ones stuck with the buckets of water and bottles of Windolene trying to get all the finger smudges off in time for the Saturday night...

Something To Keep Your Schlager Head Warm!

2011-10-25T20:55:00.002+01:00

Melodifestivalen 2012 tickets went on sale today and it looks like the live shows are all but sold out. People must have heard that Shirley's Angels will be making a triumphant return next year. Either that or they where desperate for the schlager beanie hat that you can buy alongside your tickets.

We're not going to Melodifestivalen next year but we need to somehow get hold of a beanie hat so we can wear it when we tune in to Sweden via the internet next year. After a few vodkas and diet cokes we won't care how stupid we look.

I've Had Too Many Vodkas Tonight!

2011-10-19T19:51:00.000+01:00

OMG!! We've been sent this fabulous video...

Apparently her name is Holestar, she's a female drag queen and is desperate to do Eurovision! There are clearly lots of reasons to love her, just look at the care and attention she must have used to slap on all that make-up, but here are our choice highlights of her video plea;

- recording the whole thing in front of her fridge with a magnet saying "You big rug muncher!" stuck on it. Classy.
- "it's not very BBC, is it?", she says taking a massive suck on her fag.
- "I've had too many vodkas tonight!" That sounds like our kind of girl.
- "Oooh, there's my pizza!" Obviously recorded on a normal Saturday night round at Schlager Towers by the sound of things.

Get Holestar to Eurovision now!

Doing Their Schlager Time!

2011-10-18T20:07:00.005+01:00

Oh dear. According to this article in Aftonbladet, Lotta Engberg and Martin Stenmarck might be getting prosecuted for tax evasion. They could even go to prison for two years!

Obviously we've got no idea about their financial dealings, but we can't imagine Lotta and Martin sharing a cell. Although Lotta could give Martin a schlager musical education while they're inside and teach him the words to "100%". The judge will no doubt go easy on Lotta for being the schlager icon that she is, but they'll need to consider the crime against schlager committed by Mr Stenmarck of stealing Melodifestivalen 2005 from Nanne, Alcazar and Shirley Clamp. Who cares about money? THAT'S the biggest schlager crime in Melodifestivalen history!

Choose This Sweden!

2011-10-17T17:48:00.000+01:00

We've not been paying too much attention to the Swedish web joker thing over on SVT's website. It's all a bit complicated but it looks there are 8 songs each week and two of these go through to some sort of final to select one song to be completely revamped, rewritten and remixed and not sound anything like it did when it won the web joker round before it gets to compete with Shirley Clamp next year in Melodifestivalen 2012.

All the songs so far have sounded far too earnest and guitarry but this week there's something that, with the benefit of a bit of Lord Thomas of G:Son production schlagerdust could scrub up quite well. It's called "Jag Kommer Ut" so they are clearly trying for the votes of the schlager gayers. And it sounds like something Linda Bengtzing might shreak breathlessly along to while pulling off various items of clothing. Please choose this one Sweden.

Swiss Stinkers!

2011-10-14T17:20:00.000+01:00

Swiss German TV have released the videos of the songs that they are sending to the Swiss final later this year. They're on this website but they are all dull as ditchwater so don't bother listening to them and watch this instead...

Keep Music Mimed!

2011-10-12T17:24:00.000+01:00

The Schlagerboys are very excited about the Steps reunion and the news that they're going to be heading out on tour again next year. We've already got our tickets for the LG Arena and we're making a start on the "We Heart Claire" banners right now. And there are lots of rumours that they'll be off to Baku to represent the UK in Eurovision 2012, although this is probably just wishful thinking. Although we kept banging on about Scooch getting back together and doing Eurovision and it eventually happened, so who knows?

We're hoping that when they go on tour there will be lots of energetic dance routines and not alot of singing live. Steps were on This Morning earlier this week proving that they could sing live. Well, they proved that Claire and Faye can sing live while Lisa can bellow into her microphone and laugh about her vocal technique with H if this performance of "It's The Way You Make Me Feel" is anything to go by...

Kikki's Going To Be Wrestling Alligators And Dr Alban!

2011-10-11T19:25:00.001+01:00

We've no idea what this article is all about. We've put it through Google Translate and it says something about Kikki Danielsson being in a very expensive film, going to Mozambique to record it and then wrestling with alligators and people of restricted growth or something. And it'll have Dr Alban in it too. Which gives us an excuse to this schlager classic an airing again...

Maybe "Papaya Coconut" will be the theme tune.

Hanne Searches For A Star!

2011-10-07T15:22:00.003+01:00

Schlager icon Hanne Sørvaag is going to be a judge on the Norwegian version of The Voice - Norges Beste Stemme. We're hoping this won't mean she's taking a year out from MGP, although she'll have already submitted the anthem that Velvet Inc will be strutting around on stage to next February. All she has to do is sit in the Green Room and wave at the camera and she should be able to do that in between judging stints on her new show (which is on the other side so maybe NRK will bar her from the Spektrum anyway...)

Joining Hanne is one of the blokes from the interval act in 2010, someone from A-Ha (either the guitarry one or the drums one but not the good looking lead singer) and some other bloke we haven't heard of but we're sure is very well known in Norway. Thank goodness for Hanne bringing a bit of glam to the panel. They should have had Jenny Jenssen instead of that last bloke.

Same Difference For Switzerland!

2011-10-06T17:29:00.019+01:00

The first truly schlagertastic song of the Eurovision 2012 season has been revealed with Same Difference's entry for the Swiss selection.
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It's got a dramatic bit before the chorus with all those "stops!" and then a surprise double chorus we can all chant along to on the dancefloor ("Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!") and by the time Sarah and Sean get to the key-change we're dancing round the living room with our hands in the air.

Uncle Ralph Teams Up With Dame Lys!

2011-10-05T17:53:00.001+01:00

Ralph Siegel is back, Back! BACK! He's entered "C'était ma vie" in the Swiss selection sung by Lys Assia. OMG! The Schlagerboys feel that we shouldn't like it but we can't help ourselves. And having pictures of Lys in the video walking her little dog on the shores of Lake Geneva and then going home and singing by the piano in her living room with Uncle Ralph tinkling away means we would just love Switzerland to send Lys to Baku.We can't quite figure out whether there's a key-change or not round about the two-and-a-half minute mark. Uncle Ralph must have shoved one in but Lys probably told him that wasn't how they did it in her day.

OMG! This Is Fabulous!

2011-10-04T21:38:00.000+01:00

Edsilia and Ruth are having a total Dutch Diva-off with this schlager stompathon with an unpronounceable title. TROS TV should ditch their 2012 Eurovision selection pronto and send this pair to Baku!

Eurotastic Manchester Bash!

2011-10-03T15:19:00.010+01:00

The Schlagerboys had a fabulous time at the UK Eurovision fan club Eurobash in Manchester at the weekend. We spent most of the afternoon flogging raffle tickets and tempting people with all the Eurovision tat that we (along with Eirevision, Manchester Evening News and Liam Whelan) had donated. Clearly the star prize was the Glen Vella press pack with sunglasses, CD and memory stick wristband, although the cheesy nibbles had been eaten along time ago. The mug that Claudette Pace had given us in Malta last year was also getting lots of interest, along with the huge pile of Linda Bengtzing and Love Generation cigarette cards we had snaffled off a table in a the Malmö Arena back in February ... Here are the rest of our highlights;

- Kate Robbins and Jane Robbins (one-third of Primadonna) on the question and answer session were fabulous. Kate was hilarious and told everyone lots of stories about Crossroads and Cilla Black. Apparently Jane was really young and had to interupt her A-Levels when she took part in Eurovision, but when she got to The Hague she did manage to snog Johnny Logan. They talked about the Maggie Moone controversy and said that they'd been told that the scoreboard had actually added up the points incorrectly on the night of Song for Europe in 1980 so Maggie Moone had really won. Kate and Jane wondered if anyone actually remembered "Happy Everything" so we obliged by singing the first few lines very loudly, much to their bemusement. After the session we had to go and speak to the two of them and tell them how fabulous they were. They both posed for photos, although one of the photos had to be retaken as Kate thought she was showing too much armpit. And Jane thought she should put her wine glass down, but we told her it looked far more classy if she hung on to it. We felt we should buy a copy of Kate's CD and got her to sign it for us. It'll probably go for a fortune on Ebay.

- The two blokes from Love City Groove were very pleasant. They did have to give us a rendition of their 1995 Eurovision entry, but they made up for it by singing "Save Your Kisses For Me" aswell. When we met the beardy bloke later we couldn't quite bring ourselves to tell him he was our favourite (even we have limits) but he did do a little piece to our schlager camera. Bless him.

- We just abour murdered Stjórnin's "Eitt Lag Enn" during our Eurostars performance, completely forgetting the lyrics, doing all the wrong dance routine and bumping into each other at various key moments. It's a good job Hera wasn't there to witness such a travesty. Next year we'll be Shirleys Angels - there'll be ample time to practice the hair flicking over the next twelve months.

- There were lots of other people doing much better and thoroughly rehearsed versions of Eurovision classics. The top 3 were (in reverse order) a very authentic looking Dino Merlin, a pair of blokes doing Azucar Moreno complete with backing tape malfunction and someone doing a fabulous version of Safura's "Drip Drop", which included a backing dancer made out of a hatstand and a balloon, and a wind-machine. A well-deserved winner.

- We bought three posters from Ben Morris to put in our schlager shrine; Carola with her wind-machine, Bobbysocks and Kati Wolf in full Eurovision regalia. We were very impressed with the Primadonna poster too, although couldn't quite bring ourselves to buy it as we still can't quite forgive them for beating Maggine Moone (even though we have decided that Kate and Jane Robbins are now bona fide schlager icons!!)

- The Euro disco at the end of the evening went on until the early hours of the morning. We didn't quite make it right to the end and stumbled off about half an hour before it ended in search of crisps. DJ Dave made sure he played all the schlager classics and we did the "Haba Haba" dance routine and showed everyone how to do the Shirley's Angels hair flicks.

Schlager Posters!

2011-09-29T17:48:00.001+01:00

The Schlagerboys are very excited to be heading up to Manchester later today for this year's annual Eurobash organised by OGAE UK, the UK Eurovision fan club. The guests aren't quite as schlager fabulous as Hera Björk and Kit Rolfe last year, but at least we'll get to ask Love City Groove and one-sixth of Primadonna what it feels like having played a part in two of the greatest Song for Europe schlager travesties of all time (i.e. depriving Deuce in 1995 and Maggie Moone in 1980 of their rightful places on the Eurovision stage.)

And we're looking forward to buying posters of some of the Eurovision Minipop Icons drawn by the fabulous Ben Morris. He did t-shirt versions of all the contestants in Düsseldorf and these got handed to the artists at the press conferences. Alex Sparrow even got changed in front of the assembled members of the press. Not that anyone was looking.

Ben has now created Minipop versions of some of the winners and we've already put our order in for Bobbysocks and Carola with her windmachine. And we're contemplating whether to get our schlager paws on Kati Wolf in full Eurovision regalia and giant blue ring.

Anyone going to Eurobash this weekend will be able to buy copies of the prints, otherwise Ben has promised that they will all be available via his on-line printshop in the next few weeks.

Hands Up For Schlager!

2011-09-28T19:22:00.002+01:00

Somewhere in a room in Stockholm...

Christer: We've had 3485 songs sent in for next year's Melodifestivalen.

Schlager Jury: Blimey. Have we really got to listen to ALL of them...? Even the boring rubbish from Caroline Af Ugglas.

Christer: Well, we've ditched Marie Lindberg and all the stuff that Lena "I like guitars now and my new album's going to be really boring" Philipsson's sent in, so it's just all the fabulousness from Lord Thomas of G:Son and Sir Fredrik of Kempe that we've got to sift through

Schlager Jury: Phew!

Christer: But that still leaves 3,463 to listen to. So hands up if you're happy for me to just shove in anything that sounds a bit like "Something In Your Eyes" and "Popular".

Everyone on the Schlager Jury raises their hands.

Schlager Jury: We're off to the bar for a well earned schlager drink.

OMG!! Kikki Danielsson's Going On Tour!!

2011-09-27T17:45:00.000+01:00

Kikki's doing a Greatest Hits Tour round Sweden in January and February next year!

We're hyperventilating with the schlager excitement of it all.

Wonder if one of the dates could tie in with a Melodifestivalen semi-final and make it into a schlager weekend?

Schlager Diva Face Off!!

2011-09-27T17:12:00.003+01:00

Aftonbladet are reporting that both Charlotte Perrelli and Helena Paprizou will be entering Melodifestivalen 2012! Hurrah! Allegedly Charlotte has been working with Sir Fredrik of Kempe again and wants to do better than her 2008 Eurovision comeback. Even if she did get douze points from Malta following our appearance on Xarabank when we were asked who the Maltese public should vote for and told them in no uncertain terms that they should be voting for Sweden!

And Christer's desperate to get Helena into Melodifestivalen too. Even though she's been far to busy releasing stuff in Greek.

We're hoping with all this diva overload that there'll still be space for Shirley and her Angels. At least it'll mean they'll have something else to sing when they're doing the rounds of the Stockholm gay clubs other than that atrocious cover of Bananarama's "Love In The First Degree".

Oi! Lena! Ditch The Guitars!

2011-09-26T13:05:00.001+01:00

OMG Lena!! Who do you think you are? Marie Lindberg? Ditch the "acoustic" boringness and get a dance remix pronto!

We'll Do It!

2011-09-23T17:00:00.001+01:00

According to Oikotimes, Danish TV are looking for a new presenter for next year's Dansk Melodi Grand Prix.

We've volunteered to present Melodifestivalen before but maybe DR aren't quite so picky. We don't even mind if it's just Green Room duties, going round all the celebs after they've been on stage and asking them silly questions. So long as Dame Kirsten Siggaard is our co-host and we get to have a go on Annette Heick's buggy.

And speaking of Annette Heick, it looks like she's been playing Glinda in the Danish version of Wicked. If she'd been the green witch this would be a fabulous excuse to have the Danish version of "Defying Gravity", but instead here's a bit of "For Good" in Danish. And doesn't Annette look glam in a tiara and puffball good witch frock?

Ultra Schlager!

2011-09-22T17:39:00.000+01:00

The fabulousness keeps on coming in Switzerland. US singer Ultra Naté has entered "My Love". Although it's another song that's missing a key-change (and again has just the spot to shove one in), but it's discotastic and will go down a storm at Eurodiscos for years to come if it gets chosen. And we're loving Ultra's giant eyelashes and fabulous lipstick. She's just what Baku needs.

Swiss Schlager?

2011-09-16T17:39:00.000+01:00

The first lot of songs have been loaded on to the Swiss TV Eurovision website and it mostly seems to be shouty rap and noisy guitars. But Loïc Schumacher is having a go at representing Switzerland with something that gives us at least a little hope that there'll be some schlager in Baku.

"Near Me" is hardly a schlagertastic stompathon. It could do with a bit of Lord Thomas of G:Son remix magic sprinkling all over it, and quite frankly it needs a key-change shoving in too. After all, there's the perfect spot for one. But we're a little bit shallow and Loïc is quite nice to look at, so it'll do for the time being until something better comes along.

What Would Lord Andrew Say?

2011-09-16T16:14:00.001+01:00

Well at least there aren't any stray violins for Jade to get smashed in the face with, although she's having a hard time avoiding the writhing young ladies whose skirts are too short and all those blokes with their tops off who seem rather too keen to slobber all over her.

And Jade hasn't completely forgotten her Eurovision roots as, alongside the other two Sugababes, she sang a bit of ABBA during a performance of Mamma Mia in London, complete with enormous glittery boots and giant teddy bear. And judging by this picture it looks like Jade wins the "who can push everything up and out the most" competition hands down. The other two aren't even trying.

Christer's Post-It Notes Of Death!

2011-09-13T21:26:00.000+01:00

Christer's busy planning for next year's Melodifestivalen and has Post-It notes on his office wall for each song to be chosen. According to this article he's got a system and replaces the ones already up there depending on the style of song. Apparently "Eurovision pop" gets a purple Post-It. Hopefully there'll be an updated photo in a few months' time where the wall is covered in purple.

And Christer says he might already have three songs. That'll be Shirley's Angels, the return of Kikki Danielsson and that long-awaited collaboration between schlager gods Lord Thomas of G:Son and Sir Fredrik of Kempe!

Kati's Back!

2011-09-09T18:04:00.000+01:00

Kati Wolf has got a brand new single out called "Vár a holnap". It's almost as schlager fabulous as "What About My Dreams?", and it sounds like it'll give Kati plenty of opportunity to strut purposefully around the stage, wailing all the high notes and pointing meaningfully with her spare hand. Hurrah!

OMG!! It's The Anti-Carola!

2011-09-08T17:47:00.000+01:00

This is just fabulous! Linda Martin does the English version of Carola's "Framling" in 1993. Whereas Carola in 1983 was all sweetness and light and no doubt had a bible shoved down the back of her trousers, Linda in 1993 looks like she's used ten bottles of industrial strength hairspray to get her do as big as possible and is about to head off into downtown Dublin for a gin & tonic or twenty. And anyone who can get away with that pink velour jacket is obviously a schlager icon!
1

In A Wind-Machine Like This!

2011-09-06T19:27:00.001+01:00

We've been sent this video. It looks like it might be from some Danish comedy awards show and has Chanée duetting with a comedian that the audience thinks is just hilarious. The bloke galumphs around while Chanée does most of the singing duties and it's not hugely amusing until the key-change. We won't give it away but comedian-bloke turns up the wind-machine controls and what happens next had us laughing. If only it could have happened to N'evergreen instead....

Love Him For Who He Is!

2011-09-05T20:39:00.005+01:00

Apparently Lady Gaga dressed up as a bloke at last week's MTV VMA awards and won a trophy for Best Video With A Message for "Born This Way".

We hate to break it to MTV but the award should clearly have gone to Glen Vella for his "One Life" preview video. Sorry Mrs Gaga.

What An Enormous Pile!

2011-09-02T16:29:00.000+01:00

The Scandinavian schlager season is really hotting up now...

It's the closing date today for people to send in songs to Norway's MGP 2012 and, according to Per Sundnes, there have been envelopes stuffed with CDs arriving in Oslo from all over Europe. Apparently there have been submissions from Serbia (unless it's a disco stomper by Marija Serifovic we're not interested...), Portugal (maybe Catarina Pereira is giving it a go in a country that actually appreciates fabulous schlager), Spain (oooh, that'll be Soraya then) and Sweden (Lord Thomas of G:Son has probably shoved something in so that Jenny Jenssen can make her long awaited comeback to MGP).

No doubt Jenny is in the process of dashing down to NRK's headquarters in Oslo right now and stuffing her envelopes into Per's box. Let's hope there's enough room left.

The Schlager Season Is Open!

2011-09-01T15:43:00.000+01:00

The Schlagerboys are back, Back! BACK! After a big lull in the schlager season in August (apart from the fabulousness of Stockholm Pride, of course!) it all kicks off again today. 1st September 2011 is the first day that any songs that want to compete in Eurovision 2012 can be heard. It seems a bit early to us, but we fully expect Ukraine, Bulgaria or some other random country to start a confusing selection process in the next few weeks, involving quarter-finals, semi-finals and second chance round only to end up sending something completely different to Baku anyway.

But what is most exciting is that from today until 20th September songs can be sent in to SVT for next year's Melodifestivalen. Christer has announced that he's looking for the new Eric Saade and wants to have "a mix of everything that is good in popular music". So long as that includes Shirley's Angels and a few Lord Thomas of G:Son schlager stompathons we'll be happy.

SVT have also announced that the Melodifestivalen final will take place in the Globen on 10th March, with heats in Växjö, Gothenburg, Leksand, Malmö and Nyköping in the weeks leading up to it.

Step Into Eurovision!

2011-08-24T19:15:00.000+01:00

There are all sorts of rumours going around about who will represent the United Kingdom. Apparently Geri Halliwell has said the Spice Girls might get back together and head to Azerbaijan. That would be worth it just to see how Victoria Beckham copes in the back streets of Baku when she's besieged by all the accredited members of the press (and us) telling her she's their favourite and can they have a photo please.

But we're most excited that Steps are back, Back! BACK!! with a documentary on Living TV and a glam new look. Claire Steps has clearly been on the treadmill since being on Popstar To Operastar a couple of months ago. H Steps looks like he's wearing his mum's pearl necklace and Lee Steps looks thrilled to be there. But we're most impressed with Lisa Steps. The hairdo is fab and she's working the retro chic look. Hurrah! Fingers crossed the BBC will be putting them on the shortlist for Baku.

Schlager Begins At Home!

2011-08-16T20:45:00.000+01:00

We've just found out about something called the Home Composed Song Contest. It's some kind of competition for fans of Eurovision to send in songs that get voted on and someone wins! Hurrah!

Apparently Chiara had a go the year before she came to Birmingham but got disqualified because she was professional or something and that's not allowed! Naughty Chiara! The bloke behind the complete and utter fabulousness of Hera Björk's "Someday" (and the rather atrocious "Et Cetera", but we won't mention that...) has sent in songs in previous years, and this schlager stompathon won a couple of years ago.....

Isn't that fabulous? It's called "Har Kommer Solen" and the singers had the rather schlagertastic "Varje Steg" in last year's Melodifestivalen web joker competition.

Obviously the schlager standard in the Home Composed Song Contest needs to be kept up so a dull ballad or something with guitars doesn't win. We'd enter something that has a big-gay-hands-in-the-air dance remix, half a dozen key changes and an easy to learn dance routine, but we can't write songs. So all those budding Lord Thomas of G:Sons and Sir Fredrik of Kempes need to get over to the Home Composed Song Contest website, have a look at the rules and then shove in a schlager stompathon or two! Your schlager needs you!!!

Amazing!

2011-08-14T16:32:00.001+01:00

Every so often something comes along that puts everything in to perspective and reminds us why we love Carola and Sweden.

- The hair
- The strutting
- That coat
- Those shoes
- The proper pop star looking straight in the camera
- The walking through the crowd (although we're not very impressed with the behaviour of the crowd as Carola walks past; no-one screams, "Oh my god it's Carola!" for example and there appear to be no gays in the park). In fact it really is all about the walking through the crowd for the first half.
- The bit where she steals a sweet from a child during her walk, bites in to it and carry's on singing, and then as she struts in formation on to the stage, throws it away. What a waste! Maybe she didn't like the flavour.
- The very existence of the programme in the first place. Why can't we have pop icons performing in front of a candy floss stall. Yes we have T4 On The Beach, but it's just not the same, is it.
- The only thing that could make this better is if she was singing the official best Swedish Eurovision song of all time, "Invincible", but the walk through the crowd just about makes up for it.

Strictly Stella Dances!

2011-08-12T17:41:00.000+01:00

Stella Mwangi is taking part in the new series of Skal Vi Danse, the Norwegian version of Strictly Come Dancing.

We're expecting plenty of glam outfits and big hair from Stella and she recently tweeted a photo posing with her new dancing partner, called Asmund. We're hoping she's taught him the "Haba Haba" arm-swinging dance routine so that it can figure prominently in the Cha Cha Cha, Tango, Foxtrot or whatever other routine she does in the first week.

Man Meadow Are Eaten Alive!

2011-08-11T13:15:00.000+01:00

Although we saw Man Meadow (featuring the bloke who was Anna Book's backing dancer) in Stockholm at the Schlagergala last week, we missed them performing their new single, "Eaten Alive". There's no key-change, so they've clearly split up from Lord Thomas of G:Son after the schlager fabulousness of "Viva La Musica", and the only slightly less fabulous "Love Is Gonna Get You".

There's a remix version too, but it's exactly the same as the single version but twice as long and still doesn't have a key-change. What's the point in that?

Goodbye Alcazar! (and other schlager highlights)

2011-08-07T12:58:00.000+01:00

The Schlagerboys are in mourning now that Alcazar are no more. Last night we stood for hours through lots of rubbish to get to Alcazar's final performance. Most of the line up at Pride Park was terrible but there were a few schlager highlights:

Shirley's Angels came on very early to do a new song. We're hoping this isn't the new single as it was a rubbish version of Bananarama's "Love In The First Degree". Unfortunately Shirley has slowed the song down, taken the tune out and added lots of big, dancey, bass-ey beats. It's probably fab at 2.30am in some gay club somewhere when you've had far too many vodka and diet cokes but we were expecting better.

At least the Angels looked fab in their glittery frocks (although Shirley's purple outfit made her and the Angels look like something out of a Quality Street tin, with Shirley as the walnut whip between two toffee fingers) We live in hope that this is actually the b-side and the real single is currently being remixed by Alexander Bard in his schlager castle.

Le Kid bounced on looking fab. If only they put down their instruments and walked out of giant glitter balls doing co-ordinated dance moves they could be the new Alcazar. We need a new Alcazar. Desperately.

Diamond Dogs did a fab set including a Shirley's Angels bit and a Sanna pastiche. We have no idea what Sanna is singing here but we're sure it's funny if you understand Swedish.

Lilli and Susie sang four songs including the schlager anthem "Show Me Heaven" and that new one with the Spanish title. Clearly their performance of "Show Me Heaven" wasn't a patch on the now legendary performance by the Schlagerboys at Eurobash 2010.

Hopefully Lilli and Susie will be back at Melodifestival next year with a Lord Thomas of G:son schlager stomper to inject some glitter to the proceedings.

That bloke who had a song in Melodifestivalen this year about someone being like suicide turned up but there were real instruments on stage and it all got a bit serious so we lost interest.

Someone else did a half hour set which was a bit boring until suddenly Afro-dite turned up to wail through an encore of "I Am What I Am" with him. Afro-dite looked and sounded amazing although we really wanted one of them to yell throatily, "WE'LL BE SHA-AKING" at some point.

Alcazar finally came on stage at about 11:15 and did a 45 minute set which was like a huge medley of all the Alcazar songs you would want apart from "Someday" and that fab one about shopping from "Alcazarised". They literally never stopped and the whole set was schlagertastic in the extreme despite a lack of schlager legends Annikafiore and Magnus, who we would really have liked to see invited back for at least "Not A Sinner Nor A Saint" but never mind.

We understand that Annikafiore was in the park last night but we can't confirm whether she was watching or sitting in one of the bars. For us when Lina stepped forward to do the "to be come an Alcasta-a-a-arrr" key change moment in "Alcastar" it was and will always be a pivotal Annikafiore schlager moment of iconic proprotions and it was she we were thinking about. To us, Lina in Alcazar is like Shelley Preston in Bucks Fizz; yes Shelley's an important part of the process and she did "New Beginning" but it's Jay you really want doing "If You Can't Stand The Heat".

To the Schlagerboys, Alcazar in their various line ups are the ultimate schlager icons of the last ten years and we shall miss knowing they are around. But we shall always have "Alcastar", "Stay The Night" and "Not A Sinner Nor A Saint" on the playlist at Schlager Towers. The band finished their set with "Crying At The Discoteque" and then came back on to do "Stay The Night" before presenting Stockholm's "Proud Parents" with an award for best float on the Pride Parade and then going off, probably to get pissed somewhere glamorous.

The Schlagerboys stumbled back to our hotel. We've got one more night of schlagertastic fabulousness at Patricia's. Then it's back home to Birmingham to lie down for a week.

The Worlds Biggest Schlager After Party!

2011-08-06T11:50:00.000+01:00

The Schlagerboys attended the World's Biggest Schlager After Party on Thursday night but it has to be said there wasn't that much schlager in evidence, unless by schlager you mean Lady Ga Ga. However the nice DJ bought us a drink so we're not complaining.

Jenny Silver was on stage first and sang that Melodifestivalen song from last year that no-one noticed because it was rubbish. Then she did "Something In Your Eyes" which made everything better. Afterwards we jumped on her at the bar and thanked her for the schlager anthem of the year with double hand claps and everything. We told her that we will be playing "Something In Your Eyes" at Schlager Towers for ever. She didn't say much but probably couldn't get a word in.

We can't remember seeing Velvet perform but we saw her in the bar afterwards so she must have sung at some point. We can report that Velvet is surprisingly tiny. We told her that "Deja vu" was fab and she should have got in to the final that year. We also congratulated her on that huge frock for "The Queen" and she introduced us to one of the dancers from that performance. We pretended to recognise him although frankly this could have been anyone.

Charlotte Perrelli sang "Hero" and "Take Me To Your Heaven" and we are pleased to note she did the head roll just before the fab key change on the former and the dramatic head turn at the end of the latter. Before we could grab her for a photo and a "You are fabulous!" chat after her performance our spies tell us she was off and out of the building. Perhaps she saw us coming...

We waited in vain for a bit of Kikki or "En gång för alla" from the DJ but it all got a bit modern and trendy so we didn't hang around, we went and got some chips instead.

Why We Love Velvet Inc

2011-08-06T11:13:00.000+01:00

It's over two years since "Tricky" yet this performance is perfect.
The girls do a good strut
There is not a note or a hair out of place
They look fab
That ending pose is schlagertastic.

Douze points from the Schlagerboys!

Schlagertastic Stockholm Pride!

2011-08-05T17:23:00.002+01:00

The Schlagerboys had a fabulous time at SchlagerPride last night. We stood at the front of the stage for about 6 hours to watch the show from beginning to end and consequently can't get out of bed today. It was all worth it, though. Here are our schlager highlights;

- Kikki Danielsson sang "Bra Vibrationer" early on and then returned to sing "God Morgon" near the end. She was welcomed like the Schlager Queen of the park, as was Lotta Engberg who chose to refrain from dropping to the floor with a thump for the finale to "100%".

- Most of the artists were backed by an orchestra conducted by Anders Berglund. While the Schlagerboys are not orchestra fans there is no doubting the schlager pedigree of the man who in his time has conducted Carola, The Herrey's, Chips etc.

- Shirley's Angels strutted around looking absolutely fabulous for "I Thought It Was Forever" and Shirley came back to close the show with "Min Kärlek". Every time we see Shirley she becomes more and more like the Diamond Dogs Shirley Drag Queen.

She jokes about her huge schlager bosoms and how she can't get the high notes in her songs; then she goes over the top with the waily notes at the end. Shirley Clamp just has to get a song in to Eurovision; Sweden should do a UK next year and just present their public with a song and say Shirley is singing it. They can still have Melodifestivalen but just for the fun of it.

- We were so excited to see Velvet Inc do "Tricky". They were utterly fabulous and had clearly been practising their routine which was flawless. The Schlagerboys love Velvet Inc. It's official. Get them back to MGP now!

- Babsan cavorted around the stage to "Ge Mig En Spanjor".How this didn't get in to the final of this year's Melodifestivalen is an outrage. What went through that week? Was it Brolle? Good grief!

- Hanson, Carson, Malmkvist did a medley of lots of old songs we couldn't recall which seemed to last for about half an hour, and then came back to do the schlager anthem "C'est la Vie". They kept forgetting the words for the old songs and as each new song started you could see them looking blankly at one another as if to say "Is this one of mine?" When they were called back for an encore one had to run off stage to get the words. It's understandable seeing as the songs they were singing were from 1948 or something.

- D'Nash looked very nice and danced around a lot. They did sing a song from their new album but can be forgiven because we think it was the ballad that Lucia Perez almost took to Eurovision this year. Only two other artists committed the faux-pas of singing non Eurovision songs; Kate Ryan shouted her way through an atrocious dance version of "Je T'Adore" and then introduced her new single which was basically her shouting again over the top of a dance beat with Madonna's "Like A Prayer" shoved in to the middle to give us something resembling a melody. The best bit about Kate Ryan's performance was Anders Berglund's face. Anders sat looking like he was chewing a wasp, giving Kate Ryan evil looks as her CD blared out the thumping dance music.

- Josh Dubovie meanwhile sang "That Sounds Good To Me" with the orchestra and put a fab bit of flag waving in for the last chorus.

Josh then sang a huge ballad all about loving some girl, from "Beauty And The Beast". Thankfully everyone else stuck to the script and delivered schlager.

- Arja Saijonmaa sang her two fab Melodifestivalen songs. "Högt över Havet" should really be the Swedish national anthem.

- It seems that Jenny Silver's "Something In Your Eyes" has become the song of Melodifestivalen 2011. The Swedes should learn from this experience and vote the right songs in to the final next year instead of dreary ballads and annoying nursery rhymes. Jenny Silver gave us the first mass singalong and mass double-claps of the night. In fact, "Something In Your Eyes" is the new "Högt över Havet"; Jenny will be turning up at schlager pride in 2035 and the Schlagerboys will be leading the double hand claps down the front.

- Anna Book performed a great-big-gay-hands-in-the-air-dance-remix version of "ABC" and the schlager triumph that is "Samba Sambero". She even remembered to do the out-of-breath-panting bit just before the key change! She followed Man Meadow and we were a little disappointed that Anna Book's Dancer From Man Meadow didn't come back on to reprise the high point of his career during the instrumental break with Anna. Perhaps he's forgotten how to samba sambero.

- Man Meadow looked amazing, particularly Anna Book's Dancer. Their songs are fab too. We'd forgotten that "Love's Gonna Get You" has two key changes! Hurrah!

- It was amazing to see people on stage you would never expect. Thomas Forstner from Eurovision 1989; someone from Melodifestivalen 1983 who was so damaged by the Carola 10 point massacre she apparently hasn't sung the song since; someone quite scary looking from Melodifestivalen 1979 who at first we thought might be Phillip Kirkorov, and Nathalie Paque from Eurovision 1989. One year they'll get Emma up to sing "Give A Little Love Back To The World" and the Schlagerboys will explode with Schlager excitement.

- Pernilla Wahlgren sang, "Picadilly Circus". We're not sure if she did the high note near the end because all the gays around us were attempting it themselves. Douze points to the boy dancers behind her for learning the proper dance routine and wearing the black gloves. It's all about attention to detail.

- Following "God Morgon" when Kikki left the stage there was an amusing bit where the crowd were chanting "En gång till! En gång till!" and then Sanna Nielsen ran on and everyone forgot all about Kikki and went, "Aaaaaaargh! Sanna!". Sanna performed the amazing schlagerboy anthem for 2011, "I'm In Love" but slightly spoiled it by later singing the inevitable dreary yawnfest, "Empty Room". Heaven knows why Sanna chose to moan her way through "Empty Room" when she could have strutted her way through the schlagertastic "Vågar du, Vågar Jag" or "Hela Världen För Mig" but never mind. She's still fab.

- Most of the schlager celebs came back on stage at the end to sing "Waterloo". Josh stood in between Kikki and Velvet Inc with Shirley and Sanna only yards away Oh My God! We don't think we could cope with the schlager weight of all those icons around us. We'd have to go for a lie down. Douze points to the organisers for a fabulous event. Schlager Pride indeed! We love Sweden!

In Search of Shirley's Angels!

2011-08-04T09:56:00.000+01:00

The Schlagerboys arrived in Stockholm last night and wandered down to the Pride Park, which has moved and is now conveniently in the middle of town. Unfortunately there was a right old racket involving guitars and shouting so we didn't stay long, opting for a walk past Benny and Frida from ABBA's house in Gamla Stan and then to some schlager in Naglo Vodka Bar instead where, annoyingly every song was segued in to the next so you never got a proper ending! Outrageous!

We're saving ourselves for tonight which is going to be completely schlagertastic. On the main stage from 6:30pm are Kikki Danielsson, Jenny Silver, Arja Saijonmaa and apparently Josh Dubovie. The official programme says there will be "surprises" which is a relief because otherwise the four artists above will be singing for an hour each although obviously we'd be happy to sit through an hour of Kikki singing "Papaya Coconut" and "The Cowboy Yodel Song". Traditionally at Schlager Pride artists get to sing only their Eurovision or National Final songs and not their "new-song-they-wrote-themselves-hope-you-like-it-someone-pass-me-a-guitar-while-I-sit-on-this-stool"; hopefully this standard is being upheld.

We're hoping for at least a Kati Wolf, but we're most excited that on their Facebook page, Shirley's Angels say they will be making an appearance. Hurrah! After all, they won Eurovision for Azerbaijan this year!

After SchlagerPride there's a World's Biggest Schlager After Party just across the road. We're looking forward to buying tickets for that just so we can say to someone, "Hello we'd like to buy tickets for the World's Biggest Schlager After Party, please". We're going to write a letter of apology to Magnus later today for not turning up to Golden Hits to see him perform tonight. But can you blame us? How can we possibly choose Magnus over the World's Biggest Schlager After Party, despite amazing continually evolving schlager hair-dos? We're hoping Magnus will skip his encore at Golden Hits and run over to Operaterassen to sing "Live Forever" for us right after Jenny Silver does "Something In Your Eyes".

Happy Pride, everyone! May the schlager be with you!